Ten Things I’ve Learned About Gay People in Ten Years PART THREE

8.  There is no “radical gay agenda” and no demand for “special rights.”  The “gay agenda” said to threaten America with “complete elimination of God and Christianity” was created in the 1990’s by . . Christians and political conservatives.  I have read many “histories” of this fabricated agenda and they all are birthed in a few small groups creating negative buzz about gay people in the 80’s and 90’s. The term “gay agenda” is a joke in the gay community.

Gay people do not want to destroy marriage; they want to participate in it.  Gay people do not want to destroy churches and religion, they want access.  There is no “recruitment” of children.  My goodness, where do we think gay children come from?  They are not recruited, heterosexual couples keep having them!

What gay people want is equality. They do not want “special rights,” just equal rights. They do not want “gay marriage”; they just want marriage. The only agenda of gay people is equality.  Jesus talked about equality a lot; it made the powerful quite uncomfortable.

As a side note, Gay Pride is not about “pride”; it is a celebration to commemorate the Stonewall Riots in 1969 when the gay and transgender community decided to stop hiding in society-imposed shame.  So when we heterosexuals say silly things like “well, there are no Heterosexual Pride parades.  Why do we need gay pride?” it really is that –silly.  Heterosexuals have never been forced to hide in shame for being heterosexual; we don’t need to celebrate our freedom to be who we are.  We get to live it daily.

9.  The loss of gay believers to the Church has been tragic.  Eighty-four percent of gay people were raised in some kind of faith community.  Sixty percent of gay adults describe their faith and a relationship with God as “very important” in their lives. Fifty-eight percent of gay adults have made a “personal commitment to Jesus Christ.” Twenty-seven percent describe themselves as “born again.”

I am in an extremely rare position to have participated extensively with gay believers in one-on-one settings, conferences and camp meetings; I know thousands of gay Christians.  The gifts, the anointing, the worship and the devotion that I see in the gay Christian community is genuine and rich.  They want to love and serve God, and for the majority of Christian churches, this is a challenge.

Receiving the prayers and blessings of my gay and lesbian siblings in Christ

I am immensely thankful for the Holy Spirit filled gay Christians who influence my life. Without doubt, some of the finest preachers and teachers I know are gay.  

Although this statement will torque some of you, it is one of the most profound observations of the ten years of this journey.  The loss of their contribution that we as a church have already suffered is tragic.

I suggest that churches openly discuss gay Christian inclusion with love.  Invite gay believers to be full participants in the dialogue and struggle to a conclusion together.  If you are not willing to wrestle with this with gay believers, I suggest they leave your church and find somewhere that will allow them to grow spiritually and in an honest relationship with God and others.  More and more options are becoming available for fellowship.  From my experience, you will deny your church body of some of God’s most anointed people if you do not reassess church policy on this issue.  Please do not become part of the “(un)Welcoming Committee”– we have already lost too many gifted gay Christian leaders of our churches.

10.   The loudest message the gay community hears from Christians is one of intolerance and hatred. Imagine the sadness when a darling young lesbian pleads with me for an answer,

“Why does God hate me?”

What would you say to her?  If she really wanted an answer, what would you say? Very few would tell her that God hates her, yet this is the dominant message.  Some would tell her she needs to change her sexual orientation for God to have a relationship with her.

The reality is that most of us know something is wrong with both of those messages.  Most of us believe that God loves unconditionally and half of us already believe sexual orientation is not changeable.  We may not understand the issue well enough to verbalize anything, so we stay silent.

Ten years ago, I too was in that spot, not at all unkind to the gay community, just doing my Christian thing in my Christian heterosexual world.  I had ceded my “kinder” voice to those who stand on street corners and in pulpits and passionately preach “homosexuality is an abomination.”  This is the minority voice that is heard by the gay community.  I go to Gay Pride events often and do not see Christians equally and passionately declaring a “Jesus loves you” message.

So, what would you say to this darling young woman as she pleads with you for an answer?  It is time to find your voice in this equation.  As the silent majority conveniently avoids the dialogue, people are walking away from Christianity and hating us, thinking we hate them.  We get lumped in with the intolerant and hateful.  Have you found yourself saying, “Oh, I am not that kind of Christian,” in defense?  Well, what kind of Christian are you then?  The kind that stands at a comfortable distance while gay people hear select pieces of Scripture and not the message of love?  What drew you to God?  The condemnation or the love?  You may not know where you are on this issue, but silence and indecision occupy a position in this dialogue.  By default, your voice is thrown in with the loud “you must change” voice.

END PART THREE OF FOUR