SET UP FOR A FALL (part two)

Obviously, anyone who knows the Army system will know that when we left the work we had nothing. Well, not “nothing” exactly. We had some ‘civvies’ clothing, a few personal needs items, a few small furnishings and an old car. Not much when you need to start life over. We headed to the Midwest, planning to live with my husband’s parents until we could get established. Six months later we separated; a year later we were divorced. Again, not a word from the Army.

It took me some time to attend church again, let alone set foot in an Army corps. After all, church was a “together thing”, something we had done as a couple, not only by choice but by Army standards. I can’t say I felt much allegiance to the Army anyway. A few close officer friends kept in touch. Other than that, no one seemed to care. And from what I have learned, that is the typical experience of most ‘formers’. It seems many are fearful of being tainted by association. The only correspondence we received was related to business matters. No “hello, how are you doing?” phone call, no Hallmark card pulled from the donation pile sent as a token greeting, not even a War Cry. It was as if I was living in an alternate universe and my Army experience had never really happened.

That was ten years ago. Since that time, both my ex-husband and I have remarried. We are both active in our local churches and no, they are not Army corps. My current husband is interested in ministry and will occasionally ask me if I would be interested in church planting. The question brings up a flood of anxiety. I understand that the chances of repeating the past are very remote, but I can’t bring myself to contemplate the idea. He was in the process of researching seminary schools and asked me about the possibility of Salvation Army training school. He’s familiar with the Army mission and he has a passion to reach the lost, regardless of their socioeconomic status. Seems like a perfect fit, right? I look at my husband, see his passion and free spirit and am reminded of the “autonomy” conversation. No honey, I tell him, I don’t think it would work. Obviously there are other issues as well…I don’t know that I would want to return to officership and I don’t know that I would be welcomed back.

It's no doubt a question every 'former' asks of themselves, some perhaps often, and for some wistfully. The victories, albeit few perhaps, were of eternal significance. I have always believed in the Army mission, and belive God placed me square in the middle of it, even in that remote New England village. However, I've been to only one SA Holiness Meeting in the past several years (to visit a friend). That was the only SA meeting my current husband has ever been attended. But yes, it would be something to consider, if everything fell into place and there was a way for me to utilize my counseling degree in a professional capacity. And, if my husband's gifts would also be used to the fullest.

As I step back from the ordeal and truly assess how Army life affected me, I can see both the positive and negative aspects. The Army gave me firsthand experience with meeting people’s needs and stepping out in faith to proclaim the Gospel message. I made lifelong friends and was able to minister to and meet people from a wide variety of backgrounds. The experience has changed me in some other ways as well. I struggle with the question of calling… Was I called? Was I called for a time? Has my calling changed? I’ve been separated from an organization that I at one time looked upon as my extended family. And, sadly, I’ve come to understand the meaning of the phrase, “We shoot our own wounded.”

I have grown, changed and matured in these last ten years. Although I certainly could not see the future at that time, I love the life I have and hope my ex-husband is happy and fulfilled as well. I am currently attending graduate school, pursuing a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I strongly believe that this is a calling, and that God is enabling me to pursue this to His glory. I have been able to minister to my family and see the hand of God at work in that as well.


I will conclude by making it clear that I hold no ill will toward the Salvation Army or its leadership. Admittedly, I was angry for some time. I saw the Army as a trusted friend that let me down. We are all aware, however, that even our most trusted friends are human and have flaws. The Army is no exception.

My wish is that the Army would stay true to William Booth’s original mission as it spreads God’s love throughout the world. As it does so, I also pray that leaders would be more attentive to officers’ struggles and provide encouragement and support on a consistent basis. When officers fail, provide discipline in love with the hope of restoration. Finally, it would be my hope that those who leave officership, for whatever reason, are not left to flounder alone but are still loved and cherished as an integral part of the Army family. See how the Christians (Salvationists) love one another...

May God’s love and peace sustain and keep all of you,

Shelley Meyers
Former Officer
USA East