Hello, FSAOF and thank you for having me in your company. I have served for 20 years and found most of them very challenging and often extremely rewarding. However, I wonder if it's not time to hang up my uniform for good !
Last October I offered my resignation, but found that I could not go through with it. At that moment and more so today, I am struggling in a way that most of you will understand. I love the Lord with all my heart, and I do love the ethos of The SA but find the working practice often far removed from the stated ideal and our vision. Is my vision of the army's mission today out of focus, or has the mission altered with the years and is no longer in line with what I committed my life to?
My husband, also an officer of 16 years does not enjoy good health and there are days I simply pray for a little pastoral care just for me.
I will be sharing my story at some length in a few days. I just hope that what I may add may not just help others but be of help in my own personal healing process.
Anonymous
Active
(name on file)
14 comments:
I went through the doubt and questioning for four years. Now deeply regret I resigned as there is no return for me due a number of family issues.
I suggest you speak with some of us, perhaps those who have written articles.
Also, I recommend you not reveal your identity OR geographic area of your appointment.
former
US East
"Don't get out of the train while still in the tunnel' For your own sake please find people you respect and trust so you can talk this through.
Please know you have friends who are praying for you and your husband now.
Use this blog to tell it as it is, as many of us have. Allow your writing to minister to you and hopefully some of us minister to you too.
I hope people who are in a position to pastor are reading and will respond to this and other heart cries. Please SA, whoever the SA are, listen to us and respond. Before for even more of us, it is too late.
This is a sensitive issue, one I had not have foreseen when setting up this site. It seems to me that we 'formers' have a responsible role to play here.
I know many of the persons in our fellowship and may, with the writer's permission, ask you to contact her.
Let's pray that God's will be made abundantly clear and that His peace reign supreme in the hearts of our SA comrades, Sven
Well done, Sven.
I wish there had been a support group there for me ! Instead we felt shunned and unwanted.
former officer
USA central
As I look at this very sensitive situation I feel there is a need for a pastoral support system (different to what is available at present) to be set up for those who are considering the option of resignation. Almost something like a hotline/helpline.
The Salvation Army need to find those within its ranks who have first hand experience of this painful process to assist those who need support through it.
I do not believe the Army have purposefully shunned or made people to feel unwanted, but those in personnel positions have not had the necessary skills to deal with such issues.
It would be to the Army's advantage to find people (within its rank, who understand the 'army' structure) who would only be too willing to journey with those who are struggling for whatever reason and if need be could be placed in a position as 'advocate'.
I myself have been through this painful process and would have appreciated an advocate to support me through the options. I believe it will help the person look at what is available to them and see if it is really what they feel they should do.
This hotline could become a means of 'intervention' and may lead to lesser resignations in the future.
I would be grateful for a response to this proposal from someone in a Senior position within the Salvation Army to see if this a viable option.
Former
UK TERRITORY
my thoughts and prayers are with you at this very difficult time in your life.
I can identify with what you say. However, like others, I too regret resigning - single spouse Officership was not available in our day. I still have the Call, but like a previous comment says, am now not in a position to be able to fulfil it,
Dear friend, I believe you'll find much loving support without prejudice represented by this fellowship. There are many experienced, mature "formers" in our group and with whom the administrator can help you connect, anonymously.
My prayers are with you.
Former
UKT
Our Session were also given the advice about not getting out of the train while it was in the tunnel. How I wish we had observed that advice. But I know that the situation can be overwhelming, & you just can't see beyond it.
Proclaimer of Salvation, UKT.
My apologies to John Gowans. I take poetic license here as I submit the following:
"If leadership will often share their gladness, If leadership respond when children cry, If leadership can feel each other's sadness, Each other's tears attempt to dry."
The follow-up article to this post has not been received. However, apparently another 'active' officer with thoughts of resigning was inspired to write for our blog. The article is being edited to exclude names/appointments and will be posted in a few hours.
A reminder of how we so often need each other's support, but struggle to make that need known. It took me a long time as an officer to be able to ask for what I needed, because aren't we supposed to be self-sacrificing? We're the pastors, the leaders - what will happen if we can't keep it together? Yet I've experienced powerfully healing moments when I've allowed myself to be vulnerable to the people in our corps. Have we placed such a hierarchy on caring that it can only come to us from those above us in the hierarchy?
Do you have a ministerial association in your area? Everywhere I served had one and I always participated in the monthly lunch meetings.
There were many wonderful ministers there and it allowed me time to bounce things off of them and to develop relationships on a personal level. In one appointment the two pastors up the street with whom we developed Good Friday programs, each taking an hour.
I wander but my point is take advantage of the resources outside the Army. It's often good enlarge your circle anyway. Just a thought.
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