If someone had asked me five years ago what I
thought of the concept of single spouse Officership I would have said it had
been too long coming in the UKT. As far as I could see, the advantages far outweigh
the disadvantages, but, it wasn’t for me. I could never have imagined marrying
someone who was not a Salvation Army Officer, someone who was not 100%
committed to mission and ministry within the Army. I could imagine it creating
split loyalties and conflicts.
However, now, I find myself a single spouse Officer
and I thank God I have been given the privilege and opportunity to marry my now
husband and continue with, and expand my ministry.
Our situation is possibly somewhat unique but in
its uniqueness I believe it affords my appointment, the Army and me many
advantages. My husband is a life long, 4th generation Salvationist
and a former Officer having served as a Corps Officer, a Pioneer Officer and a
Regional Commander and so comes Into our marriage with a vast experience of
ministry. Initially we had hoped to serve together as Officers but now this is
just not possible. A week after we got engaged my fiancé’ had a massive stroke
and is now disabled. However, this does not stop him or me, and possibly if
anything, drives us even more to be and do the best we can. Life is precious
and has to be lived to the full and so we give it everything we have got.
Mission, ministry and the Army is what we are about.
Shared ministry is the better way, the preferred
way. But these days it is becoming less unusual for married couples to be given
separate appointments for numerous reasons and therefore possibly working alone
even when both partners are Officers. Single spouse Officership affords some of
us opportunities that would otherwise be denied. And although one partner is
not an Officer it does give us support, understanding, companionship, and a
spiritual partner who believes in us and encourages us to be the best we can be
for the Kingdom and the Army.
For me being married to a non-Officer has opened up
doors to opportunities that are unlikely to have been mine otherwise. It has
introduced me to people from different walks of life and cultures, with
interests that were previously unknown to me. It has given me a whole new realm
in friendship evangelism because prior to marriage my life evolved simply in my
ministry and my people, there was not time or space for others.
Now there has to be, and this has given me an
understanding and a richness to life that otherwise could have passed me by.
Ministry is a lonely business and I have no doubt for all of us at times
whether single, married, single spouse or other, we know what it is to feel so
very, very alone. Those of us who have been Officers any length of time know
what the Sunday evening syndrome is like. No matter how good a day we have had,
possibly through exhaustion, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual we know
what it is to hit rock bottom, possibly because we have given so much of
ourselves throughout the day. Coming home to an empty house can be devastating.
I wonder over the years how many Officers have been lost through sheer
loneliness?
As a seven year old I knew that God wanted me to be
a Salvation Army Officer. As a child, a young person preparing for my future,
career officers at school were somewhat bemused at me being so adamant that
this is what I wanted to do and everything else was merely preparation for the
great day when I could begin to fulfill my God given calling. It is now twenty
six years since my commissioning day and I am as certain of my calling now as I
was then. Today I thank God because of a change in SA policy I am still able to
fulfill my calling that has not changed. Had this not been the case, I would
have had to decide between my life long calling or the opportunity of love.
Should people really be put under such unnecessary pressure to make such
impossible choices? ‘Two are better than one’ as we read in Proverbs …
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