Of Whom Then Shall I Be Afraid ?! My Shepherd? (PART TWO)

-part two-

This went on for some time, with everything short of allegations made. In the end, my Regional Commander informed me that London had decided to “forgive me”.
Maybe they finally understood that with banks going belly up left and right, inflation running at 20-30% a month, doling out small bundles of Rubles here and there in aid, and paying bribes to goverrnment officials just to be allowed to operate wasn't real conducive to keeping the Army's "books". It was not as though one was stationed at Regent Hall, in London or N.Y.'s Temple Corps with ready assistance a phone call away, or inviting a fellow officer to stay behind the Sunday meeting for a few minutes.

Whether it was pride or just a sense of righteous indignation, I disdainfully accepted this “forgiveness” after repeatedly showing the Finance Board that all my accounting (bookkeeping) records were correct. I couldn’t help but think that a couple of hundred bucks could not be worth this kind of time and worry, although I do believe we should be good stewards and all that.

And also Commander, what the heck about all the times I asked for help?!!? As my mama would say, it seemed like I was talking to a wall.

Here is where the story takes the typical turn toward the “relationship” plot. I was involved with someone back in the states, in the Army, but not yet an officer. She was going to be and the 'march' through the SFOT gates was imminent. I told everyone in leadership, those who needed to know, that we were 'involved'. As that was happening, I was becoming more and more overwhelmed.

Either I couldn’t be re-assigned or wouldn’t be, but it seemed more and more that my requests were falling on deaf ears. The intensity of the situation was increasing and was exacerbated by the absurd financial situation and allegations, which still ticked me off.

I wanted to stay in the Army and wanted to be with this girl I was seeing. She and I discussed, trans-globally, me being transferred back to the States to pursue our relationship. When I asked command about it, they referred it to London and I was flatly refused. I got a telephone call from the USA Eastern Territory personnel secretary (I forget what it is called) and lamented to him about my situation. He said he would talk to London and see about working things out. He called back a few days later and said that they weren’t budging. I said that I was at the point that I would come back anyway, regardless if I had an assignment waiting for me or not. Then he said something which I will never forget and also was not the straw, but the barn full of hay which broke the proverbial camel’s back. He said that if I were to come back, the girl would probably not be able to see me; would be stationed away from where I was, etc. Basically, the Army would do what they could to keep us apart. He also mentioned that I really didn’t have anything else I could do. I wasn’t independently wealthy (I was independently impoverished) and had no real vocation to fall back on. I was basically being coerced, manipulated, or as they say where I come from: trapped. Due to the way I was raised and a fiercely independent (albeit impoverished) spirit, I immediately decided to leave the SA and never come back. I entrusted myself to an institution, which was a huge mistake and then knew that as was true for all of my life, I would have to sacrifice and make sure I was okay because no one or no church was to have that responsibility.

God had given me enough smarts and ability to make my way in the world and I grew up poor and wasn’t afraid of it so I ventured out, came back to the States, found a job, lived weeks on end on canned spaghetti, got a better job, etc.

I have never regretted taking the step to leave the Army; I vividly remember knowing, after much prayer, that God would bless me either way. I do still have a real sense of loss in leaving Russia, though. I still have dreams that I’ve gone back and for the longest time I would wake up in America filled with regret that I left the place which was more like home than any other place I’d been. All in all, the entire experience helped make me the person I am for better and for worse, I suppose. I would not change becoming an officer and going to Russia although I would change decisions I made (I think this is called the learning process) and am blessed to have met such unbelievably gifted, funny, beautiful, and great people along the way.

Things I’ve learned being an officer in Russia, in no particular order:
1. Cannot take myself too seriously, or at all. Hardly anything I was concerned about really mattered.
2. I control very little in life, especially other peoples’ decision making processes.
3. Russians have a magic ability to make you believe ANY lie.
4. Curse words in a different language are more funny than they are offensive to one’s soul (but probably the opposite to people around you)
5. God is infinitely more gracious than most of us who claim that same grace…go figure.
6. God has no political affiliation (despite those socialists in the book of Acts)
7. Christianity and religion in general has societal, traditional, and cultural influence ad nauseam which have nothing to do with God.
8. That whole vodka stereotype is true, but in the way you may think.

Scott Colombo
Former officer
USA East