I WONDER, IF ONLY... (part two)

As an aside, I remember several of us Cadets saying how misguided it was to invite people to offer as Missionaries, because even then (1979) the opportunities were very limited. I now see that we were the misguided ones, and God’s purpose was in it all, as I reflect on the years of Missionary service given not only by this particular couple, but also by many others of our Session, and still continuing today.

I too, as a single girl, received a call to a specific Mission field that my husband (then fiancée) didn’t share. Our friends continued to serve God as Officers, and eventually the wife also received that ‘mission field’ call, and they were able to live it out. Like me, our friends’ call was to a place where the Army wasn’t currently working, but the opportunity opened up for them in God’s good time, a short while later. For me, it wasn’t important while we were still Officers, and even didn’t matter so much while we were working in Caring professions. However, I now work in an Office, and our health, personal circumstances, etc. are such that I really don’t have the time to do much within the Corps – certainly nothing specific, and at the back of my mind is often the thought that if I had been true to my OWN PERSONAL calling over 30 years ago, I would probably still be serving God as an Officer, to which he called me, now. And yes, I do know about single spouse Officership, but that genuinely is not possible for me/us. I also wonder now, whether, if I were in his widow’s position, I might find myself wishing I hadn’t responded to the call to the Mission field, because then they might both be still serving together ,somewhere comparatively safe & comfortable.

A recent thought after a Bible Reading in our Daily Reading Book said that you invite present defeat if you brood over past failures. So I bargained with God that if there was an Appeal in Sunday’s Meeting that was specific to me and my situation, I would respond. A thought for those of us who lead Meetings, whether active or not: - we often don’t seem to have Appeals now, and sometimes someone needs to respond, but will not have the opportunity if we don’t give out an Appeal – sometimes, perhaps more often than we assume somebody is just waiting for the invitation. That frame of mind can soon pass – next week they might not feel like it, and the moment and opportunity may be gone forever.

Anyway, it was a different kind of Meeting. There were four prayer stations, at one of which we were invited to write down something in our life which is displeasing to God, and of which we feel ashamed, then tear it up and throw it in a bin which was provided. The point was that God forgets about it – we’ve thrown it away - and He forgives. So now I need to leave it in the bin, and not take it out again.

At lunchtime, I was looking at the German SA Website. The front page is currently a changing kaleidoscope of photos of the recent German Congress/Commissioning. The one on the screen at that moment was the verse ( in German, as displayed for the Congregation to sing at their Congress) “for no matter what you do, His Love still follows you.” So it’s another message from the Lord, telling me to leave that burden behind, and move on, and - in a link to something else which has come often to me recently – do the good “little things” and not do any bad things, to all “the least of these” with whom I live and work daily, seeing Christ in them, and remembering that what I do, or don’t do, for/to them, I do – or don’t do – for/to Christ.

So every time I’ve tried to bury these thoughts again, instead of addressing them, God’s given me a nudge and MADE me hear what He wants to say to me. I felt that I should share them with all of you.

God bless you all.

Former
UKT