Yes, I am. That means I believe in a woman’s right to choose. Many reading this will now start spewing that I am anti-life and pro-abortion. I know this because many of you have already spewed this at me. But that is not the case. What I believe is every woman has the right to choose.
For many that will, indeed, be abortion. Over and over I hear that abortion has now become a form of birth control. I disagree. Or that women think of abortion as an easy out. I disagree. I believe 99% of woman making this choice do not come to it lightly. But for whatever reasons they do come to it.
What we need is to stop telling everyone to stop having sex. Clearly, that is NOT working. It may be the ideal but it is not the reality. People have sex, women get pregnant, and some pregnancies are unplanned/unwanted and are terminated.
I hear the next scream. No pregnancy is a mistake. No child is unwanted. Sadly, you are mistaken. Spend some time with foster children. Spend time with caseworkers. Spend time as a court advocate. There are, very sadly, far too many unwanted children.
What is needed is free and/or affordable access to contraception and sterilization. Make the morning after pill easily accessible instead of next to impossible. Or as the Pope would like...illegal. Instead lets force that woman to bear a child she doesn't need or want. Or force her to abort. I hear the screams already but wake up people and join the real world. What we are doing now is not working. And it never has. And it never will. All the purity balls and rings in the world aren't stopping rampant teenage hormones. Or pregnancies. But condoms are. And birth control pills are. And morning after pills are.
And even the wiser and socially acceptable married in heterosexual relations women develop unplanned pregnancies during menopause. Mistakes happen.
Last night I watched an episode of Call The Midwife that just happened to deal with this issue. It was not romanticized. It was not glorified. It was a bad situation with no hope of a decent outcome. After several failed concoctions the woman moved onto the old knitting needle method. And almost lost her life. At home in unsanitary conditions assisted by what we used to call a back ally abortionist, because abortion was illegal. And because there was no other way out of this situation available to her.
As one of the elders of the group I can tell you first hand what it is like to take some for a back ally abortion. It is not clean. It is not safe. It is not easy. It is a horribly frightening situation that one resorts to as a last way out. There are tears. There is blood. There is pain. There is remorse. There is relief. There is fear.
Which could all be avoided with the right to legal abortion. These are women for who illegal was only one more obstacle. The abortion was happening come hell or high water. Making it illegal or wrong in someone else’s eyes wasn't going to stop it.
So three final points. Not everyone believes in the same God. Or even any God. Not everyone believes life begins at conception. Not everyone believes life is sacred at all costs. Go back to the unloved, unwanted teens or younger on the street working their bodies to survive and reestablish the vicious circle. For these reasons I just do not believe you can dictate to everyone else what they should or shouldn't do. Again, in the ideal world life would be perfect. Every pregnancy would be wanted. Every child would be healthy and loved and cared for. In the ideal world. Keep abortion legal. Don't have one if you don't want one but please do not deign to impose your life or choices in religion on everyone else. Or anyone else for that matter.
As much as is pains me I must also say that pro-choice means I must let birthers and Duggars do their thing. I find it irresponsible to keep having large families. I think it is wrong on so many levels including making children parent other children. We are suffering food and water shortages in many countries and in many parts of our own country, But if I am truly pro-choice I must let Mrs. Duggar keep popping out those Stepford children. She scares me. The whole family scares me.
I also have serious doubts about IVF. Particularly when multiples occur. Doctors advise reduction and the parents cry...oh no, I can't, all these babies are from God. Nope. They are from science. Just like the science you reject in evolution. Just like the science that says life is a viable fetus outside the womb. You can't have both ways. But I guess you can die trying.
Deb Taube
Former Officer
Florida
25 comments:
Wow, wow, wow, Amen sister, keep preaching it!!
ACTIVE UKTI
‘please do not deign to impose your life or choices in religion on everyone else. Or anyone else else for that matter’.
Forgive me if I’m naïve, but isn’t that what you’re doing here?
In a way, it's good that you are a 'former'. Such a dogmatic approach would not augur well with people of differing opinions within a corps environment. So you think it's irresponsible to have a large family - well, whoopee doo - who are you to try to inflict your views on other people? There are others who beg to differ. The joy large families bring is inestimable to those who have them, and it's insensitive for you to suggest otherwise.
We all have our own personal views on abortion, but it is such a personal issue that you should leave the sensitivities to each individual - not go like a bull at a gate and try to inflict your opinions on everyone else.
For the most part I have to agree with you Deb. Whether illegal or legal, abortion is certainly not the ideal, but I pretty much see no other way out of this conundrum in a democracy, other than to make it legal and safe for those who need it.
Where my personal reservations lie is with those (both women and the men involved in any way---husbands, boyfriends, Doctors, etc.) who DO callously look at it as birth control and/or have no conscience about aborting in the last trimester when the fetus may be viable outside the womb, and in many cases so late in the last trimester that the lungs have already produced the surfactant needed to ASSURE that the baby can survive outside the womb.
According to Franky Schaeffer in a recent book of his titled "Sex, Mom and God" that number may be higher than many of us have been led to believe since according to him, statistics show that 40% of all abortions performed in the U.S. are repeats! I would guess that the number would be similar in other countries too.
The other issue, as I see it in this continuing debate (even though Roe vs. Wade has been legally settled by the Supreme Court for 40 years already!) is that the religious right in this country is as screwy on this subject as any far left secularists. They have done and are continuing to do everything possible to keep women from getting access to the "morning after" pill when it would pretty much eliminate a huge chunk of the problem so that whomever was born and not wanted would at least have a markedly increased chance of being adopted. Why there should even be a debate over the morning after pill is beyond me since women often naturally abort very early in their pregnancies and nobody even knows it---sometimes not even the woman herself!
Lastly, once again notice how patriarchy rears its ugly head in this debate? The lives of the men who do the impregnating are seldom tarnished in any way. They continue with their careers and carry on with living---even being revered for their prowess in some circles! Many even go on to become senators and presidents, as yes, even priests and ministers and SA officers! (lol!) And though I am far from anti-Catholic as anyone who knows me can attest to, as far as the Pope and the Catholic hierarchy goes (since you did mention the Pope in your article Deb), I will never understand why anyone would listen to a bunch of men in dresses who never married and wear prada shoes tell them how, when and why to copulate or how many children to have!!!??? Anyway, that's how I see it. Thanks for a well written, thought provoking article Deb!
Daryl Lach
USA Central
"You Must Go Home by the Way of the Cross, To Stand with Jesus in the Morning!"
Thank you Deb for a thought provoking article- well written good to have you posting in the blog again!
Blessings!
I just spoke this week with a woman who has 7 children, 4 of them in diapers. She had twins at Christmas and didn't even know she was pregnant until she was 7 months along!!
I asked if she had gone back to the doctor as we had discussed and gotten an IUD.
"No, we'll be okay. We have no privacy with all the kids. I won't get pregnant."
Let's make contraception easy for her and hubby to obtain. As it is, I'm tempted to club hubby over the head and drag him in for a vasectomy.
Chop, chop.....who's there;)
"We all have our own personal views on abortion, but it is such a personal issue that you should leave the sensitivities to each individual - not go like a bull at a gate and try to inflict your opinions on everyone else."
Unfortunately many say this but in fact this is from the safety of the law imposing this view on everyone and really being self-righteous as if they are allowing other views.
This so called "personal view" comes from the safety of the very steeple and does not see the work child welfare agencies do daily internationally with the consequences of there unwanted children.
Dear Anonymous,
As a registered nurse I would advise you to skip the IUD altogether and get your friend on birth control pills---they really are still (generally) the best thing out there since they came on the scene in 1960.
As I mentioned on this site once before, my own mother had 7 kids back in the 1950s. She always claimed that the only thing the IUD ever did for her, was that when she'd uncross her legs, she would always be able to pick up an out of town rock station from Peoria.
One would think that your friend and her husband's plan of each spending several hours alone every night with their 7 kids would be an excellent form of birth control also--but just in case it's not enough, I'd advise you to be a good friend and encourage her to go on the pill too. Best wishes to you and your friend. May she forever remain a mother of 7.
Daryl Lach
USA Central
"You Must Go Home By the Way of the Cross, to Stand With Jesus In the Morning!"
To be clear I meant to say Ivory Steeple.
A more moral solution would be to tie a double knot ;);)
Debby, you have actually presented both sides.....If you are pro choice that means....you are both for contraception to prevent pregnancy, and abortion to end pregnancy, and yet, you respect a couple's choice to have 20 children if they want to and can. I have worked with abandoned children, unwanted, unplanned and abused children, and I know how much a child suffers because there was no contraception used, and no abortion available, so the child was born, unwanted!
The solution for this and I would support 100% anti abortion when every chiristian who is anti abortion puts their name on a list and adopts and raises the next available unwanted child, whether this baby is HIV, addicted to drugs, has a developmental disab ility, etc. Then I will support the anti abortion side. Until then, I am pro choice....meaning it is a woman's right to choose not mine, or your right but the pregnant woman's right.
Couple of thoughts…
1. Deb, where do you get your "99% of woman making this decision" number from?
2. I read quickly that Call the Midwife is a dramatization set in East End London in the 50s- is this shock value or relevant?
3. I agree that many children are born into horrific situations which are unimaginable, Where is the counter-point as it relates to thousands of fetus being ripped from their mother's womb in the third trimester? Are we equally concerned for these children?
4. To the above poster, our family, as Pro-Life advocates has done exactly as you suggest…we willingly said yes to adopting our son knowing his mother was addicted to alcohol & drugs (which was found in his blood when he was born) has experienced cognitive and developmental challenges from same, and was unwanted by his biological parents, other potential adoptive parents, and headed for the revolving door of the foster care system.
There seems to be a double standard as I would challenge everyone who is pro-choice for fear of what a child may face if they are allowed to be born, to contact their local Family Services Department and make yourself available so our precious children can be spared both DEATH and hell on earth!
Jeffery T Bassett, Former
Jeffrey:
I agree with you 100% and I and many of my pro-life friends have done what we could to help women with unwanted pregnancies and their children. Ihave also counseled women who have had abortions and have helped them to inderstand that God forgives and that they must forgive themselves. Most pro-life people I know are not armcchair warriors.
Deb I agree with most of what you have said. I believe that children are precious, however, there are times when bringing that innocent child into the world is wrong for everyone. I think of the girl who was raped; or the girl who is unfit emotionally and is unable to carry the child successfully. Don't get me wrong. We have an adopted son that we love with all our hearts. We have 2 other biological children. Am I glad our child's mother did not abort him - yes. But she was someone who could go through the pregnancy safely and make an informed decision to put the child up for adoption. I maintain that the mother of the child must have the right to make the decision to abort or not. With consultation with her doctor, there are times when abortion is necessary. It is not our business "why". I have also seen children ho were brought into this world and were not loved or cared for. My heart goes out to them. We can do whatever we can for the child but very often they carry scars into adult life. Now there are always the exceptions.
Personally I would find that decision very difficult to make but I want the right to do it if necessary.
The part I don't agree with Deb is your comments about the large families eg the Duggars. Yes the older children help out with the younger ones but they are all taught skills that will serve them well in the future. They are a happy Christian family. Would this work for everyone? No but for some it does. I know some very large SA families. Many of these children grew up to be SA Officers and today are serving Gd in full-time ministry. Thanks for the article
So...here is what the research says. Repeat abortions occur when there is no safe, affordable consistent access to contraception, or where the parents are unable to comply with contraceptive regimens because of health or belief issues. For children who are born to parents who remain disconnected from them the outcomes are poor. Even when placed into foster care or adopted these kids mostly have poor outcomes. Forced adoptions, where parents are made to give up their kids for adoption, have poor outcomes for both the kids and the parents. This is complicated, hard and ugly. Abortion should be safe, sanitary and rare. Good, appropriate and comprehensive sex education has been demonstrated to reduce rates of unwanted pregnancy (and incidentally the age of onset of sexual activity). The only person who knows the reasons abortion is chosen is the woman concerned. It amuses me that the same people who want to ban abortion have no difficulty with war which kills civilians, or often the death penalty. The time has come for these arguments to be dragged into consistency- if you are pro-life, you have to be pro all life, including the lives you don't approve of.
legislating does not work... it just criminalises a difficult choice. I agree with Deb- there has to be space for grace and a recognition that the outside observer has no basis on which to judge.
Former
Australia Eastern
Couple things…
1. As usual the arguments for abortion sanitize and talk right over the unborn child's life by using statistics of the evil deniers of contraception (whomever they are) and the one-sided needs of the mother. Lets be consistent with the argument…we must be concerned with the mother's health, mental state, environment, etc., and lets be equally concerned with the unborn child's life.
2. Science was mentioned and assumptions made that Pro-life advocates deny science only when it suits them…rubbish! Science, more specific technology and the medical field in fact continue to prove the fact that abortion kills a human life.
3. Sadly another assumption is made by anonymous Australia that all Pro-life advocates are hyporcritical as it relates to their position on life…this is simply not true! Many of us believe life, all life is sacred and precious. I do not advocate war, nor the death penalty.
In fact for argument's sake where is the hypocrisy? I submit it lies with those who would be against the death penalty, war, and yet champion the right to kill unborn babies.
Jeffery T Bassett, former
Jeff, the definition of the beginning of life is complex. I understand your point but I don't agree with you. The beginning of " personhood" is not some mechanical arbitrary " fact" ( in my view) but a complex interrelationship.
I am glad you see all life as sacred and precious, so do I , I just don't agree with you about when life begins, and I don't agree that the science is as clear cut as you suggest. I think the mechanics that support life are clear, but not that these translate to " life". And before you ask, I am also in favour of euthanasia and the right for an individual to make end of life choices. Firmer, Australian Eastern
This is indeed a very difficult question - along with many of the other contemporary questions such as the LGBT debate etc.
The reality is that conservative sex ed just doesn't work. However, broad, inclusive sex ed (including the use of condoms, Birth control pills, and other forms of contraception) does work. Only when people are fully informed - including about things that we think are wrong - are people more likely to make less risky, informed decisions. By omitting any part sex ed, people tend to just experiment with what isn't taught, and end up in all sorts of problems.
We also need to wake up to the reality of how young children are when they begin to understand about sex. Children as young as 6 & 7 understand about sex (and some even younger). Sex ed should start at that age - not wait until they are are 12 or 13 and when many have already experimented with sex in many ways. We are just being delusional and naive if we believe otherwise.
By the way, I fail to see how birth control pills can be considered anti-life. They no more prevent the possibility of life occurring than 'natural' (rhythm method etc) birth control methods prevent life. The only biblical passages that even touch on this are OT passages that refer to property rights, specifically, using methods to make sure that a future child does not usurp the property rights of an existing child - and even in those passages, the 'natural' birth control methods are what is condemned (as condoms and the pill didn't exist back then).
It is emotion that drives this debate (along with other hot-button topics), not reasoned thought.
Yours in Christ,
Graeme Randall
Former Australian East in London
'It is emotion that drives this debate.....'
Forgive my naivety, but I thought that is what, as Christians, we are all about. If you apply 'reasoned thought' to faith, there would never be any converts. Faith - Christianity - these just don't make sense when you apply reason. If people's hearts and souls weren't stirred when hearing the gospel message, there would be no response.
If we didn't have emotions, there would be no need for this electronic media platform of ministry, which allows people like you and me to air our views.
You are driven by emotion to respond - otherwise there would be no need to have wasted your time.
I agree that using one's intellect is useful, but we are all blessed or cursed with different levels of intellect. there are those on the mensa scale, and there are those who are only capable of basic thoughts. God uses both - to 'confounding' levels, according to His word.
Emotion melts hard hearts, and at the end of the day, if no-one agrees with you, you have your reactive 'emotions' do you not? You FEEL aggrieved, or you FEEL happy - there is definitely a place for emotions.
Tell those fierce-looking women waving their placards in the picture not to feel emotion - would they be there then? I think not. I'm sure, given your comments on previous issues, that you will probably take exception to my description of the ladies - please don't - it's just an observation - there's no need for you to expend your emotion on it.
See? Feelings.
There is another situation often not spoken of... the medically recommended termination. Having experienced 2 life threatening pregnancies i was amazed to find even 99.9% fool proof methods of avoiding pregnancy do fail. I was under unbelievable pressure from well meaning "specialists" who told me, at 12 weeks, I had "no hope of achieving a viable gestation" and I was certainly risking my life "for no reason". I would have liked someone beside me to say no. As I went back the next week with the Dr insisting on tests that were dangerous to my unborn child. I would have likes someone beside me to help me say no. As I lay in hospital, month after month, praying hour after hour for God to keep us both alive I would have liked someone there. It is an unbelievably terrifying lonely road fighting against "specialists" I have never felt more alone or more vulnerable. For there to be real choice even women who are given medical advice to terminate should receive support to defy that advice. In this case the experts were wrong and a tiny less than 3lb baby was home in a week, tiny but healthy and now a vibrant wonderful young woman. Thank You Lord!
Abortion is a hot topic for sure. I am also a registered nurse and have been there when many women have aborted their babies. I always felt sad that the women felt they had to choose this as their answer, but for whatever reason they were walking this road, they still deserved to be cared for and looked after in a loving and compassionate manner. This does not mean I am for abortion as a first choice, it just means I haven't walked in their shoes, who am I to judge.
As for the comments about IVF. Both my children are IVF babies and I ABSOLUTELY believe they have been given to me as a gift from God, not a scientific gift. Sure, they were created in a lab, but once that magic moment happens and the little tiny embryo is placed in your uterus, nothing can make that bundle of cells grow except God. I've had several little embryos transferred without success that were perfect scientific specimens. Then one day, one little day 4 morula (4 days since conception) divided, stuck and divided some more and became my son. Then it happened again and that clump of cells became my daughter. They are my gift, science didn't make them stick and grow inside me, God did and I am blessed.
And for the record, I 100% believe in adoption and also believe that in many cases abortion could possibly be avoided if a women not ready to be a mum felt that had adoption as an option. In Australia adoption is certainly not encouraged and many times biological connections are forced, even in unsafe situations. Unsafe emotionally if anything.
We looked seriously at adoption as an option for us, and it is so difficult to adopt within our country, and overseas adoption is a costly, long and emotional roller coaster. But I think it should be a genuine and viable and discussed option for women considering abortion. I also believe all women making the decision to abort should have sound counsel and guidance about their decision.
Interesting article Deb,
I agree with some things you have said and not others. We have adopted children and our children have adopted children. I believe in educating young men and women if they choose to listen. Ofcourse abstinance until marriage is my recommendation, but society says different and not many young folks listen to me any more, but they listen to our daughter who has an adopted daughter, (almost 2 years old...proud grandparent). You are right a woman a choice and in the USA one that is protected. To educate them first in order to help them make a good choice is important.
I was moved by this book:
Startling Beauty: My Journey from Rape to Restoration
by Heather Gemmen
Heather Gemmen delivers the honest account of her journey from rape to restoration in Startling Beauty. Heather and her husband, a young white couple, were living out their convictions about racial reconciliation in a tough, predominately black, inner city neighborhood when their faith and marriage were tested beyond unbelievable limits. The author, who had also faced the stillborn birth of her third child and infertility in the year before being raped, details her raw struggle with racism, fear, marriage, loss, abortion, and faith. She trumpets the message that only God could turn a woman's worst nightmare into something beautiful.
"The opening chapters of the book provide the backdrop for Heather's moving story. She retraces the steps that led her family into the inner city neighborhood where they lived and eventually caused them to question their wisdom and safety in such a move. During this unsettling time, Heather and her husband buried one newborn and tried to become pregnant again. Their local church, which was also committed to racial reconciliation, provided invaluable support in their struggles. Eventually, they find peace in their circumstances and decide to stay in the neighborhood. But their peace is intruded upon one night while Heather's husband is away when a black man enters their home and rapes her. The author portrays each of these events with an honest admission of her feelings. The reader is given a rare and privileged glimpse into the window of another person's soul and the wrestling with thoughts that goes on in that private place.
"Heather headlines each chapter with her private thoughts and battles. These thoughts are directed at her attacker, revealing what she would say to him if given the opportunity. In the prologue, the author describes her lack of courage to share her story: 'Do you see? Your few minutes of ecstasy haunt my entirety. Because of you, even words turn against me. How else will you rape my life?' Chapter seven walks the reader through the reality of abortion and the choices left to a rape victim. In the wake of such brutalizing, Heather must decide what to do about a potential pregnancy. She begins this chapter with the words, 'Do you have a conscience? Do you ever wake up in a cold sweat at night and wonder what you have done? I do. You have raped, but I attempted murder.'
"In the final analysis, Startling Beauty is real and unbelievable at the same time. Heather's account reads more like a moving work of fiction, though the reader is always keenly aware of the raw emotions that surround this very real story. At times the writing is flowery with overdone descriptions, but the story itself is riveting. Women will enjoy the author's straightforward treatment of such personal issues as intimacy, rape, loss, and birth. Men may find valuable insights into their role as protector and spiritual leader. Ultimately, Startling Beauty is an incredible story that champions God's ability to bring something beautiful out of the ashes of sin and destruction." -- Jayne Walters, Christian Book Previews.com
Book Jacket:
Raped in her own home, Heather's terror went beyond her own safety: Were the kids sleeping soundly in the next bedroom, or did their silence mean something else? Would her husband save her, or would he face the same knife she did? And Heather's agony did not end after the rapist left: Against all odds, she became pregnant as a result of the rape. Would she and her husband remain united as they faced the tyranny of the choice before them? Would they endure the strain of anxiety as they waited for HIV test results and answered strange telephone calls? This gripping true-life story walks readers through Heather's journey--from rape to restoration. Startling Beauty is undeniable proof that God can bring blessings out of the worst situations in our lives.
Jesus = Life: Why All Life Is Sacred
John 14 verse 6 is very familiar to us, where Jesus replies to Thomas’ question with the profound statement “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” We may be guilty of skipping over the ramifications of the last part where He proclaims that He IS “the life.” It doesn’t say that He creates life (although elsewhere it says that); it doesn’t say that He sustains life (although that is The definition of the word used here means “existence, the antithesis of death,” according to the translators of the NET Bible. So the opposite (antithesis) of death = Life = Jesus.
Genesis 1:27 states that “God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.” Every human being who’s ever walked the earth bears God’s image. That’s clearly established here in the Book of Beginnings; but as is so often the case, the New Testament via the words of Jesus expands our understanding of some of the basic principles set forth in the Old Testament. So in John 14:6, Jesus the Son of God and member of the Trinity who in Gen. 1:26 participated in the decision to “make humankind in our image, after our likeness . . . .” elaborates on what that means. And what He says is that the very existence of human life itself is wrapped up in who Jesus is. You can’t separate Jesus from what life is.
Is it any surprise, therefore, that the destruction of human life is a spiritual issue? Every attack on human life strikes the very image, the reflection, of who God and His Son Jesus are. That’s why the concept known as the sanctity of human life is so basic and so important. When the Enemy convinces a scared young woman to destroy her preborn child, he scores one more strike in his campaign to harm everything God loves.
In Deuteronomy 30:19, God implores His people to choose life, not death, blessing and not curses from the alternatives He’s set before them. (And He’s already said in 30:14 that “the thing is very near you – it is in your mouth and in your mind so that you can do it.”)
Again turning to the New Testament, John 10:10 explains that the thief has only the purpose of stealing, killing, and destroying, while Jesus’ purpose is not only to give life but to give it abundantly. Thus the gospel message builds on the sanctity message, culminating in the promise of Romans 8:29 that those who were foreknown were predetermined to be conformed to the image of Jesus. He thereby restores the image that was marred in Eden in Genesis 3.
Women considering an abortion are, usually without realizing it, a spiritual battleground. In one ear Satan’s messengers are whispering that this isn’t a good time to have a child, that she can always have one later at a “more convenient time,” that she just needs to go ahead and make the tough decision [to abort] for her own sake, the sake of her boyfriend, the sake of her family’s reputation, etc.
In the other ear, God is speaking through her conscience and through His Word, if she allows it to be spoken into the situation by believers who care. He tells her, “I created this little life you’re carrying, just like I created you; and I have a plan for each of you. If you will trust Me, I will provide and care for both of you. No, you won’t know exactly how on the front end, because then that wouldn’t be ‘trust’ – it’d be ‘sight.’ And I relate to my people on the basis of trust.”
And so there is a tug-of-war between the cosmic forces of good and evil that plays out unwittingly in the life of this often panic-stricken young woman. He has set before her life and death, just as Deuteronomy says, and she must choose. Good vs. evil. Trust vs. self-determination.
When destruction of life is chosen, the Enemy wins; when she chooses life, Jesus wins – and so does she.
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