THE FSAOF; A TRANSITION FORMULA...

I had many contacts with the Army; my first being my birth. My mother had been the victim of a date rape and went to The Salvation Army's Home & Hospital in Oakland, California, where she gave birth and put me up for adoption. I was adopted by a young Navy family and upon his retirement moved to Arkansas. We moved right across the street from retired officers who soon walked me to church. My parents bought a house out of town and I lost touch with the church. My parents divorced and remarried and then came my next contact. My mother was hired as a secretary/social worker/ etc for The Salvation Army in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. I loved the officers there and soon couldn’t wait to get home from school and challenge the Captain to basketball games. I became active in the corps attending camp, youth councils, etc. Eventually I became a soldier.

My family moved to Little Rock and so did I. Again I became inactive. Some time later I had a bad car accident that resulted in me walking in my neighborhood when low and behold I discovered that SA officers lived just blocks from me. Once again, the Army was in my life and there I was again. The natural progression would be SFOT…and off I went. I was not, however, an authentic “born again” believer. I got truly saved in Training College…I have always been a trend setter…lol. During SFOT, as a result of my head injury from my car accident, I suffered from depression. Until my brain healed there were some very dark years. I really believe God led me to the church and gave me structure to heal. Regimental healing is what I like to think it was.

I had a few appointments in Virginia and fell in “lust”. I say lust because I met and married so quick I never knew what hit me. We drove to the DC to ask permission to date and left with a wedding date. Needless to say, the marriage didn’t work. My ex-husband attended SFOT and I worked as a spouse. I worked under an officer who was dealing with his own inner demons and I had to listen to them daily. When I reported this I was asked to keep quiet with the assurance that I would be moved at the end of the year. My husband said I would be moved ‘or else’. ‘Or else’ happened, and I was soon packed and headed home. The Salvation Army even wanted us to pay for the U-haul. It broke my heart.

We headed back to Arkansas where I worked in various jobs before being a secretary for the City Command and again assisted in Oklahoma and headed back to Training when our marriage difficulties reared their head and we again moved “home” to North Little Rock, Arkansas.

The marriage died and I was empty. I was the subject of much Army gossip. It is like people choose sides but I remained scorned and silent. When you go from this vast safety net of the Army to nothing it is quite a shock. I literally had only the clothes on my back to start again.

I became pregnant and being unmarried; well, enough said. No longer fit for service. After the birth of my daughter I began a long descent into drinking. It eased the pain of losing my Army family. At least that is what I thought. With each SA commercial…each ringing of the bell at Christmas…seeing a van with The Salvation Army…thrift stores…I could go on; the wound was opened again. I signed the covenant to be a soldier, and officer and now look at my life. I just knew that someone would call, write; beg me to return to service…the call never came.

I did have one dear friend who kept in touch through the years; she remained an officer. Many a night she just listened. She did not understand this hole that I was left with and how I felt betrayed, even by those who were supposed to be shepherding me. Then came the telephone call. She too had been wronged by the Army and was getting out. Now she understood something of my pain. They, she and her husband went through the process of appealing their case; her own DC told her, “Nobody likes your husband.” She now felt my sting. I watched as they gave her a penance for her 20+ years of faithful service. Signing away their right to sue, complain or anything for their little check.

I have remarried and continue my journey towards God. I like to say that religion is a business but faith is free. As long as the “Army” continues to treat officers as employees, not called by God, but simple domestic servants expendable at their discretion, I feel they will continue to lose good people.

The Army really needs to develop a transition formula to help people move into a direction other than officership; a fellowship such as the one I joined here, the FSAOF. If one doesn’t remain active in the Army, as an officer, one really is just like the people that we were called to serve…bare and broken.

Former
USA