Single Spouse Officership - HELP WANTED-HELP NEEDED- HELP! (part 3)

In the chapel on the King of King's campus, twelve well-dressed female students sit on the front pew, their hair perfectly groomed, their nails painted a modest pink. Bibles are open on each lap. Though nobody is preaching and the room is all but empty, they nod and smile in silence, occasionally throwing in a demure "That's right" or "Amen." Finally, an instructor with a stopwatch yells, "Time's up!"

The students collapse in their seats, rubbing their necks and cheek muscles. "We have to do that every Sunday?" one asks. "And Wednesdays, and special events," groans another. These aspiring ministerial mates are learning how to smile pleasantly in the face of devastating criticism, how to lead women's ministry groups rife with in-fighting and how to worship in demonstrative yet non-offensive ways, appropriate to their church setting.

They'll have to deal with whiny women seeking marriage advice they won't ever use. Children who go through extreme rebellion; board members who accuse them of secretly controlling the pastor, and being called the 'b word' on occasion. 84% of Pastors’ wives say they are totally unprepared to face what many deem a terrifying responsibility; the role of the unpaid associate pastor. Can the same be said of the non-officer spouse?

"I had no clue how to be a pastor's wife," says Amy Andrews, 32, a mother of two in Rochester, N.Y. And after nine years, "I still don't."

Born in Ethiopia to missionary parnts, Andrews had begun college in Fullerton, Calif., when she met Brian, a Stanford grad and aerospace engineer from Los Angeles. Six months after they began dating, he awoke one day with a 'calling'. Hired by Vineyard Church, he moved with his new wife to their current post in 2003.


Bored and lonely, Amy Googled , “do you feel isolated.;pastor's wife" and came upon dozens of websites--most created by older women partial to lace motifs and wheezy background hymns. "I was just not feeling the teddy bears and hearts," says Andrews.

She launched her own site, WithPurpose com in 2004 because "I thought there must be others like me." She guesses that the 200 or so PWs who regularly visit her forums feel that sites like hers "really eliminate the isolationism that we feel. I'm struggling through it just like you. If you want to come in and peek into my little life--if that makes you feel less alone--that is so O.K. by me."

"To be a pastor's wife you don't have to speak Greek and Hebrew, just be able to listen to it with an expression of sincere interest"...

All content © 2003 LarkNews.com. 
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HELP WANTED:

Pastor's wife. Must sing, play music, lead youth groups, raise seraphic children, entertain church notables, minister to other wives, have ability to recite Bible backward and choreograph Christmas pageant.

Must keep pastor sated, peaceful and out of trouble.  

Difficult colleagues, demanding customers, erratic hours.

Lovely seaport area with clamming as our main industry;

Pay: $0 - but the free clams are to die for!

The basic job description for pastors' wives hasn't changed in a century but the nature and makeup of the women has; well-educated, dual-career couples and women's independence have compounded personal goals and roles and complicated the expectations of church leaders and their congregation often leading to intensified frustrations and schisms.

OPENING CLAMS LESSONS: 

7:00 EACH TUESDAY 

PRIOR TO "OPENING THE WORD"

THE FELLOWSHIP HALL 

(to be continued)


S. Ljungholm
Liverpool, where clamming rules... well, next to football!