"GET OVER IT "!

Tell them; "IT'S TIME WE BEGIN TO THINK FOR OURSELVES AND MOVE ON...GET OVER IT".

'GET OVER IT !', has been heard but a few times in this blog, however, in each instance drawn sharp responses. Perhaps its rare use is due the immensity of the required response. It’s one of those demands that seems to draw acid from whatever is fermenting below the surface. None-the-less, it’s perhaps the most important instructions handed out, and many point directly to that need when joining the FSAOF, and ‘getting over it’ is one act and experience that we spend much time considering privately and as a fellowship. Yet, even two years on some can’t seem to move on. Can it be that basking in misery is easier than seeking full psychological and spiritual well-being ?

The only daughter of a devoted mother and father was killed in a hit and run accident while out riding her bike. When eventually arrested, the driver responsible was discovered to have no license – it had been revoked as a result of a prior dangerous driving conviction – and no insurance.

In the trial that followed the driver was sent to prison for manslaughter. But for the dead girl’s parents, prison was not enough. After his daughter’s killer had served his sentence, on thye day of his release from jail , the girl’s father borrowed a gun and shot him as he stepped through the prison gates.

Amazingly the man survived. The girl’s father, however, was arrested for attempted murder. At his trial he confessed that he had wanted to kill his victim, and that the only remorse he felt was that he had not succeeded in his bid to avenge the death of his daughter. In spite of this confession, he was acquitted. The jury found the driver – who had never once shown the slightest sign of remorse for the life he had taken – so repulsive that they delivered a unanimous verdict of ‘not guilty’ for the attempt to murder him.

Even this was not enough for the girl’s parents. For them the issue was still far from resolved. As the months and years passed, rather than finding release from their bitterness through the retaliation they had already exacted, they became yet more consumed with the thought of revenge.

So it was that almost a decade later, that the girl’s mother was asked on national television if she wished that her husband had succeeded in his attempted murder. ‘No’. Came her surprising, but equally chilling, reply. ‘I need to pull that trigger myself. I need to watch him die in front of me, and know that I’m responsible.’

I doubt that any of us can empathize in full with the vindictive spirit of the parents, nonetheless, we all harbor, from time to time, a strong seeking for revenge. I’ll confess that on occasion my longing for revenge probably caused Jesus to turn away from me and cringe !

I am worried, due comments sometimes shared in the blog and FB site, that some in our fellowship are unable to resolve their fault finding of Army leaders and would, if they could, name them and their “sins” and nail the list of 95 offenses to the "Wittenburg Cathedral" door, or at the very least, on the FSAOF blog site! We have had to temper and/or delete a few comments posted to the blog due their vitriolic tone... (Comments shared in the FB site are not seen by the general public and consequently not edited.)

I posted articles focusing on forgiveness some weeks ago. Three persons who visited the blog at that time wrote to me asking that I expand on my thoughts, and speak to God’s sense of pain and the need for revenge.

When thinking of inflicting pain on God countless scenarios flood my mind. As it concerns religious groups my thoughts go directly to the account of Jesus in the temple (Luke 19:45-48). You will not find a single reference to Jesus being angry as He tossed the money-changers out of His temple.

Can the same be said of the SA leaders that processed your resignation and mine ? And if not, was anger and disappointment expressed by them due the reason for your resignation or dismissal ? I can name at least two SA Commissioners who some months following my resignation acted totally against the example demonstrated by Jesus. One who had acted against SA policy on a matter of behavior said: “Sven, if you ever mention this to the Chief of the Staff I’ll…” I had decided long before his threat to drop the matter, even though 2 soldiers working at THQ who witnessed the behavior bravely resigned in protest, without little hope of finding immediate work.

In retrospect, it would have been very much to my personal advantage if I’d flushed him out. However, it would have tainted the history of a life-long, faithful SA officer, and brought disgrace to the family and to the army. I will admit though that it took many months for me to just ‘get over it !’

I read recently, “Forgiveness does not condone the wrong. It does not deny the pain inflicted." However, it gains power over the evil we have experienced by choosing to leave it behind and in due time, getting over it.

Dr. Sven Ljungholm
Former
Exeter, England

Sven was a senior executive working in the airline industry prior to becoming a Salvation Army officer at age 40. He served with his then wife in the USA, Sweden, Russia, and Ukraine being one of the pioneers who re-established The SA in the former Soviet Union. A90 minute TV special, "THIS IS YOUR LIFE", was broadcast in his native Sweden, and 3 other TV broadcasts (Sweden, the UK) have featured his SA activities. He was a frequent contributor to SA periodicals. Subsequent to resigning from The SA he completed his PhD at Moscow State University and taught for several years at Central Ct. State University, and in the MBA program at 2 other New England universities. Today he continues teaching university courses online and is an active soldier of the Corps at Exeter Temple working with the homeless, encouraging them in the restoration of their lives through weekly credited Bible Study. a weekly roast beef luncheon club for the city's vulnerable, and coordinating The Master's Restoration Antique Works. Homeless persons assist in the restoration of antique furniture sharing the profits to provide necessary funding for self support and esteem.