WHEN CROSSES COME Part -One-

Difficult times, spiritual, emotional or practical, can bring us to our knees. They can also raise us to new heights.

We have all been through some difficult times and the transition from officership to ‘former’ status has different levels of difficulties for each of us that have travelled this path. Now I have no doubt that in our various appointments we all knew what stress was, for most of us it was a very constant companion and we simply learned to live with it almost simply as part of the deal. For some it may have been the catalyst that became the tipping point. We have all heard, and possibly experienced stories of someone saying just ‘get on with it’ and ‘it will get better’. There is always a tendency in a hierarchy that we just do that and try and get on with it, and then when the situation is prolonged our normal defense mechanisms are not enough to avoid being overwhelmed, vulnerable and under threat.

In situations like ours there is always the danger that these difficult times just simply continue even after we have left. It is trite to say that most people get over it because the reality is that the trauma of the transition often stays with us for decades. Many of us have become masters at the cover up. How are you going? Someone might ask and the automatic response is ‘I am doing OK’. At one stage we had a North American C.S. in our territory and when ever we passed in the corridor of THQ, in his strong North American (sorry I can’t be more specific) accent and enthusiastic manner would say “Giday Fletch! How are you doin?” From my little Aussie heart I could not let him beat me in the enthusiasm stakes and so I responded in a like manner, “I’m great Colonel” and his constant retort was.. “That’s great”; and he would move quickly on being busy about the work of the Kingdom. This was a regular occurrence but there was a day when things were getting on top of me and in response to his over the top question I responded ‘Colonel! Do you want the PR answer or the real one?’ There was a long pause where he looked at me intently and then said “That’s great” and he was off, again being about the work of the Kingdom.

For a number of years I used this little narrative as a description of a person out of touch with what was going on in reality, where in actual fact the Colonel was probably as much under stress as I was and like me didn’t know how to handle it. Although my strong alpha male exterior coped with it well, that soft vulnerable little boy inside did not fare so well and it confirmed to me, rightly or wrongly, that there was no one who could understand or help. This was not just an event that happened; it is something that can continue for the rest of our lives unless we do something about it.

"Fletch"
Peter Fletcher
Former
Australia