The best thing about joining Facebook has been reconnecting with sessionmates. The Proclaimers of Salvation are observing our 30th anniversary this year. But like many sessions, only half of those commissioned will be be in uniform for the Congress. The rest of us will be in civvies.That’s actually a difficulty that we have not yet found a way to surmount; we will clearly be divided into those who are “in” and those who are “out.” Another problem is cost – non-officers will have to pay their own travel costs, the price of the motel and meals. And speaking of travel, our session is really scattered. It takes a real commitment to spend money for airfare for a single meal with old friends.
I’ve been away from the Army for around 25 years.
It was with some trepidation that I began contacting sessionmates on Facebook. It turns out that the majority could care less where I’ve been, but they’re very glad to have reconnected now. It’s been a blessing to me and I’m slowly making my way back into the fold. I’m renewied my soldiership covenant in a Sunday worship service two weeks ago.
I have an email list for the Proclaimers on Facebook and one on Yahoo for those not on FB. As soon as I have info re: the reunion, I’ll be emailing everyone. Which led to wonder if there wasn’t a better way to do it. I figure we should have a way to keep track of those planning on attending, a place to collect current photos, and store videos from those who can’t make it. So I took a look at a session reunion page on FB.
And that’s when it occurred to me that if we had had a page of our own back in 1980 – a page just for our session – closed to DCs, TCs, closed to anybody but Proclaimers – that we just might not have lost contact with each other. For the 25th reunion they found everyone except five singles and a married couple, with one sessionmate presumed deceased. The irony, a circumstance I find somewhat bitter, is that I was one of the “lost” and I live in the shadow of THQ and have for the last 20 years. The web was fully active five years ago and a search for my name would have turned up all sorts of information.
That’s where I think that 'Facebook and sessions' just might be the combination we need to keep track of each other – in or out. It would be a virtual continuation of that two years of camaraderie, a cyber prayer room and confessional, a place of celebration when children are born, graduate, marry. Do you see?
Those people that were on their knees with me in chapel, the ones who wrapped their arms around me when I cried, even those who shouted hallelujah and or quoted scripture at me, those people would remain just a click away.We could have commiserated with changes of appointment or held our breath as someone left the work and began again – praying as hard as ever for them. We could be the ones to assume responsibility for their remaining or their exit because we were family and that would never change.
As I’ve read (their) Facebook comments like “Love you, Sis!”, or wept through their private emails about fires and illness, divorce and other losses, I realize that we are still very much family.
Cheryl HagedornFormer
USA Central
33 comments:
Cheryl, the Servents of God session had its 25th reunion with the very same difficulties. Carol and I shared the frustration of being "lost" while being in full view. We returned to the SA a year and a half ago to attempt fellowship as a soldier, but in the end, after a year, we returned to the Methodist Church. We were not able to afford the trip to the 25th, and to be honest, there was a bit of "us and them" attitudes. I hope for a very positive and affirming reunion of you and your session!
Ray Neuman
former USA Central
rneuman@new.rr.com
Former Central USA Officer
Excellent idea to now have a way to keep in contact with those people who where such a big part of your life when you were a cadet and officer. Losing that support, no matter why you left, hurts.
Many will realize the "us" and "them" scene. That is too bad. That is part of the uniform , rank and position that mingles with some pride and apathy. Active officers should take notice of formers and retired officers. Are they not still part of the family in a sense ? How about love a former month? Take that to TC's and DC's and see how far that will go. Just a thought!
USA East former
I think we should feel free to call them on the distancing! We are not pariahs, we're formers. We once had a lot in common. Many of us still do except for the trim on the uni. Even without the uni!
One more thing, we are told to bear one another's burdens - it goes both ways. It's not all on the actives, you know ;-)
Cheryl: What a great article. Thank you! One point I would make...I have never been 'out of the work' just out of 'officership'
Blessings!
Gary Laws
Cheryl, good to hear from you and read of some of your thoughts. I would be very interested to read what made you make the decision to sign up with soldiership once again after all these years. Delighted to learn that you have.
I am an active Officer from the Servant of God session. Last year we had our reunion after 25 years since commissioning. I would like to think there was not a 'them and us' sense of feeling with those who gathered, there certainly didn't seem to be. But then ,,, we were all in civies ,.. not one uniform in the place ... all of us paid our travelling expenses and accomodation. Our group was about half and half active and formers and we had an amazing, God honouring weekend. Trust you will too ... enjoy!
GBY real good!
Glad Ljungholm
Cheryl, have you noticed how absent conversations are between actives and formers on Facebook? It seems as if the actives are not really connecting except to allow a friend request (how gracious). There are some exceptions to this, of course...a few.
Perhaps they have less time than the rest of us.
Gary, I disagree that the conversations are absent. They're just taking place offline - which is the beauty of this FB phenom. I can make public comments, or participate in a closed forum, or I can email or message people.
It's taking me longer to catch up. There are still folks I have not approached because we were not especial friends at Training. Still, I'm trying, one person at a time!
I also think part of the connection problem is that for our emailing list we only have "work" addresses for most of the actives. That could be part of the distancing problem ...
Gary, in my case, my SA computer won't allow me access to certain sites, including FB. Consequently all my interaction is from home and during my 'down time'.
I was so pleased to come across this blog- my SA favorite. Would love to be able to share in your private FB fellowship; sounds like a true fellowship !
Active
USA
Glad, thanks for your encouragement. I was impressed that you were able to get everybody to foot their own bill! We're trying to cobble onto the Congress which means the big expenses are borne by the formers. Our solution has been to find another venue -- off-site -- and make it available on Saturday from 9-2pm for informal come-and-go-as-you-will gatherings.
Wow, has it really been 30 years. When I think about it yes. The time has flown by.... Life has led me down many roads. However, the one road that I have never left is the one that led me to Christ and I continue to Proclaim His Salvation in my world of influence.
Darlene Ward
Western Territory
Surely a person in or out off uniform can still be a christian soldier and therefore shouldn't we all be treated the same? There should be a place where we can all choose to join with others and pray , laugh and support each other in a combined fellowship without ranks and uniforms! we can respect the work officers and other uniformed brothers and sisters are committed too but when we are born we do not arrive in a uniform and when we enter gods house we are not in a uniform so we can still serve god as a civvy whilst endorsing our uniformed members. prayer is stronger when we all join together so lets begin a website worship meeting place for any of gods children to participate in prayer, support and kinship where our attire, status, age nor rank need be shared to others. Are you ready for a salvation army online meeting place? let us know through this media and we will share our love of Jesus.......
Wish that were so . The moment I left no one contacted me ever again. I had no personal friends at Training except one who left before me. Maybe now with FB this can happen. But I remember one Reunion notification people just didn't want ot be contacted anymore. Now everyone has retired from our Session . I do see some on FaceBook and some other Salvationists Officers I know from forty some years ago. Familiar names. I did E-Mail a Former Session mate once and never received a reply . Many just don't want to be bothered anymore. Time passes and we all go on with our lives and are going down different paths. I asked one Corp Officer if my husband could become an adherant and he brushed me off. I took that as a we don't want you or him.
Good luck with that.
So - I thought about responding anonymously - but decided to do it on this public forum instead. First - great article Cheryl. On one hand - I'm VERY excited to be connecting with people on Facebook. I had a great time at the 25th reunion - even though I was very scared going in. After all - I 'left the dear old flag.' But I was welcomed - and I look forward to this reuinion, too. But...that doesn't change what I went through when I left. I was told that I would go to hell. I was told that my now husband was from the devil. Not one officer came to my wedding. When I worked later for the Army people I knew from my 'former' life who were at THQ or DHQ would always say "When are you coming home where you belong?" Not once did someone ask me if I was happy - if my decision had been the right one. By the way - I am - and it was. I went to a national TSA social service conference. Past friends all said hi to me as they went out the door to dinner each day - but never invited me. That type of 'us and them' does hurt. Now another but...I'm hoping that this type of forum can change things. I hope that as years have passed things have changed. I felt that change 5 years ago at the 25th and just pray that it continues.
Central Territory
Peg Carey
My husband and I served for almost 35 years. Circumstances caused us to make some changes in our lives. I think it is really kind of funny according to our career sheet. We should be retiring this year. There is no retirement for us. I really miss the Army, it's music, it's worship and ministry. I am glad to see this page and I have often said to my self....we (meaning the Army leadership) know how to take care of those who have come into the fold but we (the Army Leadership) do not know how to minister to those who for various reasons need to step aside. Other than a few close friends and family who have kept in touch no one has contacted us. Even session mates who have come the community we live in. I pray for the Army and it's ministry....I truly believe it was raised up by God to meet the needs of those less fortunate. God Bless The Salvation Army. My heart is still that of a Salvationist.....USA West.
comment for Gary,
As far as the session mates go, I have had a real feeling of "back home again".... especialy when my dad was near death, many of the old mates were constantly asking for updates, and I felt there was a real genuine involvement. Other officers, frankly, I didnt expect a lot of dialogue. We haven't spoken in 30 years. I dont talk to them either. But that doesnt mean i am not interested in what they are doing, and frankly I am glad they let me peek in and make an occasional comment of support. So, for me, the thing I most looked for, is the acceptance and continued love of the "mates", and I honestly feel I have received that. Would I like to be totally accepted by TSA as a whole, it would be nice to feel the greetings at Congress were genuine and sincere, but, I know they are more acts of "political correctness", and I take them for what they are......
I hear you Ron and Peggy. Been there.
Blessings
The importance of connection can not be stressed strong enough. Those of us that are no longer officers and have not had connection know of pain and a loss that we would never have wished for anyone else to face. Everyone that is an active officer or former should make an effort to make or keep connections.
When we left the work it was under circumstances that very few people knew of or understood. The rumors flew all over about infidelity or theft. When in fact the reasons were known by those who were able to offer us support and work to make sure such actions against officers never happen again.
The couple of contacts that I have had with session mates were brief and years ago. When we approached the administration on two ocassions we were ignored. That is a pretty hard pill to swallow when we know of officers that cheat on their spouses, abuse relationships and the army moves them along or brings them back into the work. Politics within the organization is a discouragement to many and a disease that has many victims.
As a former going on 6 years now, I cannot say that we were treated badly by the Army in general, more just by the DC who made it impossible for us to stay.
Probably the best thing we did was to move to another territory. I really feel that this move has made it much easier for us to remain a part of the SA and to work through our remaining bad feelings about the situation.
Many of our sessionmates and other officer friends have kept in touch with us through e-mail and Facebook. Due to the distances involved these two avenues have proved invaluable.
When we had our 25th reunion of the Servants of God last June, it was a great time of renewing fellowship. We were divided about half and half between the ins and the outs but it didn't seem to matter.
NOTE...
If you are a FACEBOOK member we invite you to join a private 'formers' fellowship. There is much of interest and importance to us all...
We left officership almost 10 years ago now. We were stationed on DHQ. When we announced that we were leaving only the current DYS would talk with us. We had session mates on DHQ with us and they never even talked with us. The DC would not even look at us. The DC’s wife told me that she was sorry but she could not even get us a goodbye card because we were leaving the WORK. We knew then and still today that leaving was what God was asking us to do. We are both involved in ministry today. I must admit that bitterness creeps in for me from time to time by the way we were treated. God gently informs me of this and he and I get it worked out.
Most of our session mates have become FB Friends. But some never respond when we post something on their page. It is like we are not even worthy of an answer from them. Some others are wonderful and have full contact with us.
I believe the Army does a disservice to those that leave. I always remember while stationed in Kansas. We had a large group of people that left the denomination that they were serving in to join the ranks of officership in the Army. These people were praised that they listened to God. If God can call you in, surely he can call you out to a different ministry.
Claudia
“Former” from the Central
Must say that I do not think much about TSA anymore. Great time of learning for me. Some fine friendships. Many good times. Obviously some of the same hurts felt by many expressed here. Left officership in 1991 due to family circumstances. Exceptionally hard then. You are "in" then "forgotten". Still must say a few exceptionally great folks at THQ and Division. Many others - an opportunity to learn to forgive.
Spent many years 1992-2006 serving in SA as employee. Left in 2006 after God let me know I was a bit too comfortable in that boat called TSA. Matthew 14. Nothing like reliance on God alone for a paycheck, for health insurance at 61, for all. It has been an exceptional time for me not because TSA is at fault or a problem, rather because only in Jesus alone is there life and security. I love Him. Grace is all!
Thanks for all of your thoughts. John Braddock, Central Territory 1978 Disciples of Jesus.
I see often a common thread. I see a serious need for leadership to treat officers that are leaving and those that have left with dignity. Clients that are assisted from Salvation Army Centers are treated with love and respect by officers but many officers are treated like dirt by Divisional Commanders and Territorial Staff when they resign.
Who would want to come back to that? I feel very sad about the hurt feelings because of the way many were treated. May as well be General Motors. You can see where that company is headed.
USA former
I saw a great number of people that were hurting. It was like they were abandoned and left on their own. It reminded me of many that were left in the sea and covered by the waves. Someone must help them! Some of the stronger souls with God's grace reached the dry land and were secure and safe. These individuals reached out and helped the weak ones still thrashing in the water so helplessly. Who are these people? Former officers of The Salvation Army. They must help one another. Why? Because someone else may never care or see the hurt.
USA East former
I was interested to see the Article on “Taking Responsibility by Session”, as it was from a “Sessionmate” from another Territory. Our 1st. Year Reunion @ Sunbury Court was an Army Event, very formal, uniform, etc., & being officially “1st. year Lts.’ Refresher Course” was Actives only. Some were too far away to attend. We were mainly all still Officers then – only about 5 lost since Commissioning. We had a 20-year Reunion @ Sunbury Court, at least part of which I presume Actives had paid by the SA, as it preceded their 20 -Year Review. Us formers paid for ourselves. That wasn’t attended by all the Actives, any more than all the formers, as some were seriously ill, some too far away overseas, etc. We wore uniform (if worn) for the Sunday Meeting.
Our 25-year Reunion was at the Training College, & unconnected to any “official” Event, so everyone paid their own expenses. Uniform was optional for Sunday, so we were a mix of Majors in uniform, & some Actives as well as Formers in civvies. (The Leader of that Reunion is now a Former himself, after many years of service.) We were asked to lead Sunday prayers, & we’re Formers. At the 2nd. Reunion, there were Session mates who had left before Commissioning, but still some Actives as well as Formers missing – overseas, lack of interest, etc., & some PTG. The people who arranged the Reunions have managed to trace most of the Session, but not everyone. We’ve never sensed any separation in our Session, with some Actives enthusing about what they learned from talking to Formers about their present occupations during our last Reunion. My husband’s Guide Dogs (2 different ones, as 1 retired after the 20-year Reunion) were also made welcome, - & enjoyed running round the grounds at Sunbury, & the Central Quad at the College, respectively. Actives & formers mingled after the “official” sessions, as many of us sat talking until late, in the House Sitting rooms.
After both Reunions, a private Sessional Site was set up, as everyone was so enthusiastic about it at the Reunions. However, sadly, both dwindled, with less & less people sending items, so they closed. I don’t think it was lack of interest, just lack of time.
There was a tentative plan for a 30-year Reunion, but it seems to have fallen through, which is a shame, especially after having 20 & 25 year Reunions.
Anyway, greetings to our American Sessionmates, & hope you have a good Reunion.
Proclaimer of Salvation, UK.
Whenever I encounter an active officer - the most prevelant reaction I've seem to receive is one of "I can't talk to these former officers, I might catch what they have!" hahaha
I actually have given this a lot of thought. and have come to the conclusion that the Army is, in most cases, the only link any of us have in common. If you have ever been at Congress - all you hear is "Hey, how ya doin?' Where are you now?" - then the conversation always relates to programming, events, lack of funding, influx of some kind of endowment...etc. I think we are all guilty of this - it's just the nature of things. There is a struggle to allow yourself to get deeper - and in some cases a real risk.
For myself, I am more comfortable in front of the crowd, than schmoozing in the crowd. Not that I can't be friendly, but the initial contact is very difficult. Of course, once I get comfortable....watch out!! hahaha
There are a lot of hurting people out there, and yes - the one off the street seems to be treated with more compassion than former Officers. Forgiveness for all??? I don't think so!
As a former SA Officer, I think the hardest part of all of this was how easily you are 'cut loose' from the system. After you have spent time at the training college, submissing to the authority of the SA, convincing yourself that they have your best interests at heart, that God is leading them to make decisions for you....then poof! It's all changed. Then, if you run into the Corps Officer from the Army locally, they tell you that you could really be an asset to the corps. Of course, they only say things like that if, by chance, they happen to see you on the street. We actually had one Corps Officer ask us to be the Sunday School Superintendent - to help turn things around!-and we hadn't been attending the Army at that time for over 5 years! Did that same officer take time to visit us? to ask us out for coffee? Of course not.
We stopped attending the Army 16 1/2 years ago. We have been attending a Presbyterian Church, where Wes is the worship leader, and I play the piano or clavinova every Sunday morning. I usually provide special music, if there is none other that morning. Wes became a member about 5 years ago, but I couldn't bring myself to do that - my blood is red, yellow and blue. We have 5 children, and 4 of the 5 are soldiers. My oldest son is currently the youth pastor/corps helper in Fremont, Nebraska.
The ones who attend the Army have all played and sang in the worship band, and participated in a variety of ways. I do go and do special music once in awhile, and we have helped out with special projects. Before I worked full-time, I started, and sustained for almost 10 years, a Home League in Cloquet,MN before they re-opened the Corps there, then, according to the larger plan for that HL, when they finally got a Corps Officer, I backed out of the program. The last couple of years, I have been extremely blessed to be able to serve at Music Camp in the Northern Division - something I thoroughly enjoy.
We have tried, over the years, to be supportive to the officers, to provide fellowship and other support, but again, see the opening line! sigh. But we keep trying to do what God asks of us - no matter where, or what.
This got a little long, and I didn't put this on the blog, because I am writing from work, and can't access the blog from this email address.
Blessings to all - and Thank God the Army can only take away my officership, but not my commission! ! ! My license, but not my ordination.. There have been, and I trust will continue to be many, many opportunities for service - in and out of the Army - we just need to keep our eyes & hearts open for them.
God Bless;
Mondie Lemke Kruse
Former, US Central
BTW, Cheryl, great article!
The reunion thing was a tough one for me. Another former (who is a dear dear friend) and I were going to go. At the last minute I decided it didn't make sense to go since none of us had been in touch over the years. What was the point? We didn't really know each other anymore. Now I sometimes regret not going. Especially for her sake.
One session mate came thru last year and we had a delightful dinner of reminiscence and laughter. He said he and several others were waiting; kept saying 'where is Taube', 'Taube is coming'. For that I was a bit sad. Maybe I would have enjoyed myself more than I gave them or me credit for. Maybe I'll give my 30 a shot. It isn't all that far off.
Deb, I think you owe to yourself and to your sessionmates to at least take a look-see.
Trisha asked, "Are you ready for a salvation army online meeting place?" My response is that for the most part I've already got one in the FB forum and the dialogue I have with sessionmates on Facebook and through email. I dont' know if I could trust enough to go larger than that. I see myself, even with sessionmates, being pretty cautious about I share. Guess that's the problem with getting hurt - you decide you don't like the sensation so you avoid going that place in the future :)
what a great blog. I typed quite a lenghty story and thought it better to delete it and start over. I don't want to belittle TSA that meant so much to me at one time. When I hear of other denominations that lose a pastor you often read of restoration. How they reached out to support and strenghten a fallen commrade. With the SA's focus on out reach, where is the out reach to our formers? Speaking as one of them... wouldn't it be incredible if after 200+ years that it would become a priority to reach out to those that have fallen for whatever the reason?
Where to start? I have been "in" and "out" twice and neither time "out" was my choice. Honestly, I can recognize that I was not without error in judgment and even, action; although I am not ashamed of my service or efforts. I just want to give a big hug to those of you expressing pain. I would think that it/pain would be unanimous (at some time in the "leaving" experience). We are all very aware that TSA is not infallible. However, does it not have an awesome impact on our world? And we have been a part. I think it is best to focus on what was good and strive to live a life that is worthy of our calling as Believers. "When did God cease to be good?" Is it not he that we served? God bless you as you continue to be part of His family.
I have never been "out". But I have a heart for all formers--even the 80 & 90 year olds. I pray for you all often. This is my dilemna--and possibly other "actives" share this with me. When someone resigns or is terminated, we don't know why. We hear rumors, but should we really trust that the rumors are true? Also, I don't want to impose on your privacy. I feel that if you wanted me to know the details of your leaving, you would have informed me. Until that happens, I stay out of your business. I don't believe that I have the "us" vs "them" mentality (except when it comes to DHQ being them), so when I see you, I'm treating you the way I would what ever color you have on your shoulder, or none at all. The Army world is way too small for us to act as though we don't know or care about each other--unless we truly don't.
How can we work together to provide a safe place to cometogether without judgement?
Rhoda Clark Wilds
USA Central
Martha, thank you so much - you said it exactly the way I feel it "a big hug to all those feeling pain".
And Rhoda, I appreciate an "active" taking time to comment, especially "the Army world is too small" bit! Maybe you and I will see each other Saturday night at the Congress - I'm looking forward to seeing "Spirit" again after 37 years!
Former, USA Central
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