I recall reading some years ago, ‘Men are from Mars and Women from Venus’, Dr. John Gray, with an element of amusement as I thought of and likened it to some of my close male friends and family members. I remember sitting there, smiling to myself as I read of men and their caves and other such things and agreeing whole heartedly thinking ‘Yes … it is just like that’! Now I have been married for seventeen months and believe more than ever ‘Men are from Mars and Women from Venus’. And there have been a number of times when I have asked myself: ‘Why can’t a man think more like a woman’? However, today as I sit here and write I am reversing that role and asking: ‘Why can’t a woman think more like a man’?Yesterday I had thought my husband was so wrong on an issue. I considered him to be too analytical … too clinical … too unmoving and somewhat heartless, not being able to see something from another perspective. It was a difficult day when both of us became stubborn and fought in our own corners.
Very late that evening I read a message on Facebook from Sven’s youngest daughter, she had written as her message of the day: ‘The sooner men of the world learn these things, the better life will be: we (women) are way more intelligent than you give us credit for, we will never think you are right, we won't ever "let it go", or "get over it", we always know better, we don't believe anything you say, and YES, we are all sisters.’ Needless to say I was somewhat amused by such a statement and just had to agree wholeheartedly. It must have been one of those days in the Ljungholm households … and as Kaari and I commiserated with each other on our day, Kaari said: ‘See, I told you we were sisters’!
I can’t say I have given much thought to sisterhood over the years. It is not something I have particularly felt an affinity with or need of. I think maybe in some ways I got off to a bad start when I was asked to represent TSA at a young woman’s Methodist Conference and being on the planning team almost put me off for life. Many of them were totally against men … couldn’t see anything good in men and even sang ‘She is Lord’. None of this rested comfortably with me and I had to ask TSA to find someone else to represent us.
There have been times throughout my ministry when I have been invited to ‘Women’s Conferences / Retreats’ and chosen not to go because I have felt more comfortable in mixed groups. However, a few years ago TSA in the UKT began a series of conferences for women; ‘What Katy Did’ taking Catherine Booth as their inspiration.
Initially it held no attraction to me but then one year I saw the course outlined, ‘Freedom to Fly’ and that was what I really wanted in my life. It was an excellent few days that had a profound affect on me. The Bible Studies were lead by women I respect and admire. Major Judith Payne and Commissioner Vibreke Kromenhook 
and we looked at some of the forgotten women in the Bible. I also discovered during these days an opportunity to ‘network’ with other women, something I had not particularly done before. At this time I discovered women who understood, women with whom I could identify with and women who wanted to build each other up in their leadership skills and ability. ‘Girl Power’ at its best as I understand it.Networking seems to be something men do automatically. They befriend likeminded men … they talk work … they climb the ladder together as they already know the strengths and weaknesses of each other.
They commute on the train or car together into DHQ/THQ … meet for lunch … hang around for coffee … and talk work. I don’t think women do to the same extent. Possibly at times when networking could be at its strongest women are having babies, bringing up children and possibly feeling very isolated. Men, through their networking inform each other of what they are doing,
share their visions, hopes, dreams, ambitions. We women are more likely to keep these thoughts to ourselves. ‘Research shows that woman have a tendency to put their heads down and work, believing that they will be rewarded, that the boss will notice and take care of them,’ Karen Peetz (CEO Bank of New York Mellon) points out. ‘But in reality, the opposite is true. By keeping their heads down, women fail to make the connections that would help them both personally and professionally.’ So perhaps we women need to learn to sing our own praises. However, I am left with the question though; is this a male … female issue or is it a cultural thing? Back in the summer I went to a school in America, the school of one of Sven’s grandchildren. It was a primary school and on a large poster next to reception I read the words: ‘To succeed, we must first believe that we can.’ I was horrified. Surely we shouldn’t be pushing children at such a young age, so hard. Can’t we just celebrate who they are and what they naturally achieve without driving them. It seemed a bit too much to me. What if they don’t succeed ,.. what if they don’t achieve??? Does such an attitude make things worse for them and heighten their sense of failure. Surely, ‘Failure is not, not succeeding. Failure is not trying’.
Major Glad LjungholmCorps Officer
Exeter Temple Corps
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