OUT OF SIGHT - OUT OF TOUCH ...

Recent discussion of the FSAOF blog has focused on the Army’s response or lack of it to those who ‘leave the work.’ I am hopeful that this discussion will generate some specific guidelines for use across the Army so that officers who are taking up the “former” mantle will find some systemic support for that oftentimes traumatic transition.

Yet all too often, a corporate policy is only as good as the abilities and attitudes of those who are charged with carrying out that policy. I know of very few Salvation Army officers who would say that they have too little work to do, as most of us are dealing with a plate that is overflowing with responsibility, and sadly, pastoral care doesn’t always rise to the top of the list. Like many corps officers, the typical divisional commander is hard-pressed to meet the pastoral needs of his or her active and retired officers, and the expectation that they will be able to keep in contact with those who have moved in a different direction may be unrealistic. “Out of sight, out of mind” is a fact of life, whether we like it or not. This is not to say that we shouldn’t reach out to former officers, but it’s probably not top priority at the beginning the day.

The recent posts have, however, forced me to consider my own reactions, both past and present. As an active officer, my response to someone choosing a different path than officership has generally depended upon my relationship (or lack of one) with the person involved. If I'd normally send them a note or call them were they sharing a college graduation or a death in the family, I've generally done the same upon hearing of their decision. If I had little more than a passing acquaintance, I probably wouldn't be in contact.

However, there have been times when I have gotten involved in the dynamics of an officer resignation. In a recent situation, our corps was privileged to invite a DHQ officer to be with us on her last Sunday as an active officer, where we were able to provide her with affirmation of her work, a blessing upon her new ministry, as well as a luncheon and some shower gifts for her new home. Our intention was to treat this transition for her with respect and with appreciation for her impact on our lives.

I’d suggest that what made this particular situation a positive one was our commitment to treat our friend’s decision as one that we were willing to support, even though I was sad to see her leave the Army. People do change directions in life, and working to normalize those transitions is a healthy response to people we love, even if we don’t fully agree with their decision. By helping those involved grieve the losses and celebrate the new possibilities, we are modeling a healthy approach to life in general.

The more difficult situations are those when there has been a dismissal or a marriage breakdown. What do we do? After all, there is often no public announcement, only a whispered message that implies some difficulty that can’t quite be explained. I must admit that in all too many instances, I've done nothing, excusing my inaction with the thought that perhaps someone else who is closer to them will have involvement. Sadly, that may be the thought of many officers, and the officer being asked to leave is also stripped of much of his or her support system at a time when they most need that support. No one offers to baby-sit, help clean the quarters, or lend some money.

A friend who left officership, admittedly under a cloud of her own making, told me that I was the only officer who had even called. That saddened me, knowing that there were many who were all too willing to talk to me about the ensuing scandal. Perhaps those are the situations where the administration needs to request that someone make contact and stay in contact, whether they be an active officer in the vicinity, a retired officer of discretion, or even someone from outside our denomination.

Ultimately, while the corporate response is important, all Salvation Army officers, active, former or retired, have a responsibility to each other to support, comfort, confront and care for each other. While we may not reach out every time a rumor comes our way or a bulletin crosses our computer screen, we can make an effort to call or e-mail a session-mate or a former officer whom we had served with simply to check in and to say, “I remember.” And we can do it now.
So to those whose paths have crossed with mine, you are not forgotten. Your ministry has touched my life, and I am grateful. The words of II Thess. 3:5 from The Message are my prayer for you today: “May the Master take you by the hand and lead you along the path of God's love and Christ's endurance.”

Major JoAnn Shade
Major JoAnn Shade ministers with her husband Larry as the corps officers and Directors of the Ray and Joan Kroc Corps Community Center. She received a B.A. in sociology from S.U.N.Y. at Binghamton, a M.A. in Pastoral Counseling, and a Doctor of Ministry degree from Ashland Theological Seminary in June, 2006. She is a prolific writer, lecturer, and busy counselor and has contributed to this blog since its inception.