Some of us simply ignore all that happened and hope it will go away. Some use it to launch into another ministry and really shake the forts of darkness, within the Army or within another church and we are proud of their efforts. Some become bitter and twisted and express their pain in different ways, all too often in attacking the Army and the ‘they’ who are supposed to run the show. There are those who become, dare I say it ‘Holier than ...’ and seem to have a scriptural answer to everything that the Army does and believes and causes some of us to question how we could have been so misguided to respond to a heavenly call to such a movement. And there are those who will simply sit on the side lines and let their unfulfilled expectations spoil what they are currently involved in, constantly thinking about ‘what could have been.....’. And there are those who use it to become giants in their community because of who they are and credit where they have come from.Over recent years I have become a fan of networking. I have always been keen of what I sometimes call ‘coffee shop counselling’, where people meet in a non threatening atmosphere to simply chat about things. Not always to have a defined outcome but just to communicate with someone with whom we have a connection with.
I love coffee shops and have been accused of being addicted to coffee, but I am blessed with very poor taste buds and I struggle to be able to tell what good coffee is and what is not, but for me the coffee is not what is significant about coffee shops. Over recent years I have been to networking breakfasts, after work events that drift of into the night, at all sorts of venues and with all sorts of people; however it was only recently that someone talked about networking 101, the basics, and it was quite revolutionary for me. I found that there were principles that spanned networking, customer service in all sorts of organisations, selling and many more. What surprised me was that it was remarkably similar to what I had been involved in for so many years under the red epaulettes. Networking should not be an exercise where you give out your ubiquitous business card so someone can give you contacts that you can profit from but it is about collecting business cards and asking about what you can do for other people, it is about being genuinely interested in what others are doing and possibly how you can be of help. Jeffrey Gitomer, (www.gitomer.com), says “Take a genuine interest in other people before you ask them to take a genuine interest in you”. Is this revolutionary or does it simply echo the mythical Christmas cable that Bill Booth sent to his officers around the world in the most economical, read cheapest, manner that simply said ‘Others’.It strikes me that there are times when we feel a pain that no one; fellow Officers, Divisional Commanders, the ‘They from HQ’; really understand or care about our situation, when really it may be that this could be the result of our not taking a significant interest in them (others). It sounds like such a simple act but I am convinced that the more interest and care we have for others will be responded to in like kind. Over the years I have decided that most jobs can be done by robots, even in our ‘former lives’ a lot of the stuff was mechanical, but dealing with people was our most challenging and rewarding activity. Jeffrey Gitomer also echo’s what many people have said that ‘people do business with people they like’, and maybe we need to have a ‘likable people meter’ hanging round our neck.
Our pain is real and it affects all of us in some way or other, but the significant event is not what has happened to us, but how we respond to what has happened. It is more blessed to give than to receive, I have been told, and so let us give all of ourselves to ‘others’ and leave what comes back to a higher power that can do ‘....exceedingly abundantly more than we can ever ask for.....’
But maybe we have to take the first step in coping with our pain?
"Fletch"Peter Fletcher
Former
Australia
9 comments:
Fletch,
Thank you. What you write has relevance to all of us. Actives, Formers, Never Officers, life. Thank you for speaking from your heart and reaching ours. I love the coffee shop counselling room and have used it for years, the informality of it but gives listener and speaker equal footing ... and by the way ... I hate coffee!
Your writing reminded me of the following and the next one I will post too.
Fletch, once again, thank you! GBY real good and continue to use you!
The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith
People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.
© 1968, 2001 Kent M. Keith
"The Paradoxical Commandments" were written by Kent M. Keith in 1968 as part of a booklet for student leaders.
Active UKT
1. The version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
-this version is credited to Mother Teresa
posted by active UKT
I needed this. Yesterday I posted about the upheaval here at the office. I must admit that some days I allow it to cause me to be bitter or irritable. Today I shall step out in joy.
A brief story of a German 'former' SA Officer....
---------------
Apparently like many in the Salvation Army, he willingly joined the Nazi Party although the exact date is unknown. He does make it clear that several Officers were anti-Nazi, at least in private. The latter appear to have aligned themselves with Salvation Army Colonel Busing who clearly worked hard to keep life smooth for all. It is obvious that there were disagreements about where an Officer's loyalty should remain. However, the fact that the Salvation Army was allowed to continue many of its activities at all was regarded by some as a sign of Hitler's interest in the Movement.
There is an old grainy picture of a band marching under the Army flag where the flagpole is topped by the Nazi symbol. Grandfather apparently used to tell the story that he visited England with some German Salvationists in the 1930s and marched under the swastika.
A clear rift had developed between some Salvation Officers by 1939. Grandfather remained an ardent follower of Hitler, believing that even with and after another war, an equilibrium would be reached. It was in the summer of that year he was asked to resign on the basis that a) his sermonising was to overtly pro-war and b) wearing a Nazi armband and badge on his Army uniform was incompatible with his Officership. He refused but decided to retire in favour of other work. However, given his age, it is unclear exactly what this would be. Apparently some friends found him an administrative post in a small South German town.
After the war he claims that his Nazi past were enough to make him unwelcome to many Salvationists. Officers ostracised him and although he volunteered to help work for the Salvation Army, he was told he was not wanted. He records his deep unhappiness at the Communist take over of half of Germany and appears to have become convinced in later life that wars in fact decided little. He would apparently talk fondly of his love for the Salvation Army and although he rarely went to a Salvation Army meeting after the war, he wanted to be remembered as a Salvationist first and a German second.
Ed: The above piece was submitted for publication after some chance correspondence between the CMHA and the granddaughter of the Officer. She did not want her grandfather's name in print at this stage.
Thank you for your sharing. Great advise for everyone here. Over-all there seems to be a laziness in real care and love today. It is called apathy. What we all need for one another is empathy. We need the love of Jesus and the power of The Holy Spirit to fully understand people. I like the words to a song.....Walk a mile in my shoes ,before you critisize and abuse walk a mile in my shoes.
You have been helpful , Fletch.
Bob Deidrick , Eastern Territory, residing in Arizona , USA
There is often very little common sense when it comes to the Army and we all have our stories. I cannot imagine the pain of the German Officer in the midst of his confused loyalties, and I am ashamed of how 'we' made him feel when he wanted a way back but was denied. We can all tut tut at the treatment he recieved but somewhere along the line I feel very strongly that I want to apologise to the granddaughter. Time does heal but sometimes stains are left that cannot be cleansed completely.
This story shows the breadth of the Army's philosophy and highlights that Grandfather was a person as well as an Officer with all the needs and desires that most of us feel and it seems we let him slip between our corporate fingers.
What can we learn? possibly that it incumbant on us all to take an interest in all the people that we are involved with. We still have people who see alternate points of view and it is sad when they are villified and questioned instead of trying to understand and accepting them as they are.
'Come unto me all ye that are ...'
Sometimes we have accompany them to that place and claim forgiveness for ourselves irrispective of who we are...
This is a very moving narative and deserves a wider circulation within the Army. I have been moved and enriched by its telling.
I was interested in the item about the German Officer. I wonder if the granddaughter has read "Cast Down but not Destroyed" (can't remember the German title), the SA- written history of the SA during the war years? It's a great read, - wish they'd translate it into English, but of the people I've approached (within the SA,) nobody seems interested. It suggests, however, that things were much more cut & dried, that Officers were either for or against the ruling regime. Logically, it couldn't have been that simple! The book was written for the German Centenary year. They had to march with the Swastika as well as SA symbols, acording to the book, as it was the symbol of the country at that time.
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