Last May I found myself accompanying my mother to Roots. On the surface the only reason that I was going was to spend a weekend with my mum, I am an ex-officer’s kid and not a Salvationist. I certainly didn’t expect my life to change. But this is not the story of an epiphany but of gradual self-discovery, digging down into my roots and searching out what makes me “tick”.Potential
I used to shy away from talk of potential, dismissing it as nice Christian schpiel that you tell people when they have made a wrong choice or circumstances have led to them to a low point. I’ve heard Jeremiah 29:11 time after time; For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. It's a wonderful verse full of hope, promise and affirmation. For years I’ve been told: ‘Leah, God has a massive purpose and plan for your life’ by people that don’t even know me. But all I saw was disappointment after disappointment. As a child I was unsettled and torn between my divorced parents. People who had known me as an officer’s daughter no longer seemed to care; maybe they didn’t know how to act, none-the-less I felt rejected by the church (Army) community I held so dear. So, when young I had no real knowledge or awareness of spiritual warfare and in my innocence I questioned, “If God’s people don’t want me why would God want me?” Tales of purpose and potential seemed irrelevant and growing up I adopted the cheery attitude of work hard, play harder and make the best of what you’ve got. I believed in God, but I didn’t actually believe he was very nice. I became a prodigal. But God was on my case and I rediscovered His love that I’d known as a 5 year old when I gave up my rights for the God who gave up everything for me. God blessed me richly and healed my brokenness. But I still struggle with this idea of potential and God having this big plan for my life.
It’s difficult to view ourselves and our lives objectively. I believe where I struggle with the idea of potential is that I assume something massive is going to have to change within me. Basically I feel inadequate, like I’ll never be ready. But God really wants to work with what I’ve got. He created me. He gave me strengths in communication. He gave me the ability to adapt. He gave me compassion for others. He gave me a passion for social justice. I am ready for God to use me and I have been since the day I was born. I just need to let Him do it. I don’t see the big plan God has for me because I am slap bang in the middle of it!
Roots
There I was, sat at the café at roots staring into a lukewarm cup of tea and suddenly my ears pricked up. In the middle of all the hustle and bustle two of the men from the leadership team, Chick Yuill and Gary Bishop were sat on the stage informally promoting their newly published books: Chick’s, ‘Others’ and Gary’s, ‘Darkest England and the way back in.’ I felt a tug at my heart as Gary shared snippets of his book that details the work of himself and a team of people who have moved out of their comfortable suburban lifestyle into a poor council estate (tenement) in Manchester, UK and made it their home and its inhabitants their friends. Doing what Jesus did; living life with the lepers of today, the people that nobody wants to be near. They are sharing God’s love with people through simply loving them enough to “do life” with them.
I understand the title of Gary’s book to be inspired by General Booth’s ‘Darkest England and the Way Out.’ God certainly placed the poor on Booth’s heart. As Christians we should have a heart for the poor and downtrodden, however, this is not always easy. Indeed, Gary recounts in his book a day when he came home to find that his new next door neighbour had stolen everything from his home! Yet, Christ died for all, including the thief who lived next door. I’m reminded that the last person Jesus spoke and offered salvation to prior to His cruel death was also a thief, and His neighbour, hung on a crude cross next to the one on which my Saviour was nailed and crucified...
Leah Parker-Randall
Hull University, UK
Daughter of Former Officers
4 comments:
Thank you Leah for sharing a bit of your early life and where you are today in your walk with God. It's clear that your parents provided you, and no doubt still do, with a solid foundation on which to build your life.
As a parent, and former officer, I'm pleased to note that the spirit of the army is rooted in your faith. I look forward to reading the next installment of your article.
Be assured of this friend praying for you... perhaps one day you'll follow in your parent's footsteps to Denmark Hill and march out from there as an officer.
Former Officer
USA
A wonderful testimony to your upbringing and cheers to your mum for bringing you along to Roots.
Bless you!
Former Officer
UK
In one of the courses I teach at a local university I use Jacob Needleman’s book “ The Heart of Philosophy”. Needleman explores how our human search for meaning is integral to our lives. In it he speaks of “remembering”, those unique moments when our very soul was impacted by things eternal.
I just returned home from a music festival at the Manchester Citadel Corps in Connecticut, USA. The guest conductor was the well known Lt. Col. Norman Bearcroft who has gifted The SA with hundreds of original brass and vocal composition. Some of his work is based on the poetry of Catherine Baird, whom some call an Army mystic; I would agree.
The Manchester Citadel Band played Bearcroft’s band arrangement, Reflections, transcribed from his own vocal composition of the same name, based on Baird's poem.
The words of the poem include these;
"In every youthful face I see
The Christ Child smiling down on me;
For once, upon a night of joy,
And clothed in a little Boy,
God, in sweet majesty came near;
His voice was young and passing clear,
Awakening the heart in me
And calling: ‘I have need of thee!’ "
The words of the poem were projected on a large screen in order that the listener be able to follow the melody as the band played. My mind went immediately to your article Leah, especially the words;
"Awakening the heart in me
And calling: ‘I have need of thee!’"
I had to leave the festival prior to its conclusion as I had students waiting for me; yes, on a Sunday afternoon.
I got in to my car and absentmindedly reached in to a box of cassettes and grabbed one and popped it into the cassette player and the words that immediately came forth were;
"Awakening the heart in me
And calling: ‘I have need of thee!’ "
being sung by a group of young singers at Cobham Hall Music School some two decades earlier, with Bearcroft conducting.
Having those words cast at me twice, within minutes, coupled with your wonderful testimony Leah, was cause for a very moving moment. I had to pull the car to the shoulder of the road...
Whether one uses “remembering” or “reflection” in reading your story, it’s clear that both words are a fitting tribute to your mum and grandparents. I know them well and know that they were in great part those who helped the Father awaken your heart.
Many blessings, Sven
Sven, thank you for the time you invest in this important ministry. The articles are all written and relevant to where we are today in remaining faithful.
Thank you too for your always thoughtful comments to the posted articles.
Blessings !
Former Officer
UK
Post a Comment