Delores

“Amazing grace how sweet the sound...” I was leading this song during a devotional time when I heard, in the far corner of the room, someone weeping uncontrollably. As I quickly made my way to see who was crying the crowd separated. And there, as I knelt on the floor, I saw Delores, her body twisted and curled. As I wrapped my comforting arms around her I asked, “why the tears Delores?” She simply said, “The songs all remind me of my mother and how she used to sing them to me.” We went and sat to the side and had a special time sharing our experiences of how our mothers influenced and impacted on our lives.

It’s now 10 months later and I’m once again kneeling at the bed of Delores and this time singing alone with her, “Amazing grace how sweet the sound.” She is now on her death bed, and she struggled to open her eyes. He body is thin and fail, yet through that tired body she gave me a gentle smile, however, this time with only one tear in the corner of her eye. That sign of recognition and gratitude took all her strength…

I wet her lips with a cool minty swab, and she mustered what strength was left to absorb the water from the gauze. Her body lay helpless, totally dependent on me to give her the necessary water to survive. The chorus came immediately to my heart, “Touch my lips with the coal from Thine altar Lord, send a new touch of power on my soul.” The power in Delores’ dehydrated body left in the minutes that I sat with her, singing and comforting her with cool water.

Are you dependant on someone giving you that life changing refreshment? Do you thirst for the cool water that only Christ can give? It was my “job” that day to sit with Delores and apply fresh, cool water to her lips but, I was “honored” to sing and share Jesus with Delores as she slipped out of my hands. The soft strains of; “Amazing grace how sweet the sound...” gently carried her into the arms of Jesus.

Continuing to be His "Joyful Evangelist."
Sharon L. Gulley
USA East

When I was fed...

My friend Maggie.


Following 27 years of joyful active service as Salvation Army Officers, my husband and I left the ranks allowing God to continue to fulfill our calling outside the Army.

I currently serve as the "Life Enrichment Coordinator" at an assisted Living Facility for people living with dementia. I have the privilege to serve, and in Jesus’ words; Feed my Sheep. (it's in my job description to add "spiritual" to my activities). How awesome is that!!!

Although I have many stories to share, one for each of the unique residents, one stands out that I want, or better said, "need" to share.

Let's call my resident "Maggie." Maggie was quite a sophisticated woman. At 97 years of age, Maggie still wore her high heels, a business suit that could be found in any Wall Street boardroom, and carried her designer handbag. Maggie was also an artist. The walls in her room were covered with beautiful paintings, gifts to share with visitors that God had inspired her to paint. Maggie reminded me on each visit to her room that her painting skills were a gift from God.

One day I was sitting with Maggie just chatting about "life" in general She asked me about my husband, children and grandchild. Giving me motherly, no, better said, grandmotherly advise; wanted me to ponder, and realize how blessed "I" was to have a loving husband, children and a granddaughter.

As we spoke she proceeded to take a wallet out of her handbag and began to remove a few photos. How proud Maggie was to show me pictures of her two handsome sons and to tell me details on the accomplishments of her children. She drew me into the lives of her two sons. She shared how heartbroken she was to have had one son taken away from her so early in life, dying in a tragic accident. But she added that she was comforted in knowing that one day she would see him in heaven and how proud she was of her only living son. Maggie then took out one more picture. It was a aged, and by now somewhat faded picture of Jesus, no doubt a having been kept in that wallet for many years. Her look changed and she became quite serious and she said to me, "This is my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ." I sat there awe struck recognizing how honored she was to show me this picture. But what struck me most were her next words to me when she asked, "Do YOU know Him?!"

I always saw it as my privilege, indeed, my role to share Jesus with my residents, my responsibility to feed His sheep. But not on this day, Maggie shared Jesus with me!

The story doesn't end there, because less than a month later, Maggie died. I had the privilege to attend her funeral and the pastor gave an opportunity for anyone to share something about Maggie. I stood and shared the story of my very special and private time when Maggie and had sat and shared on that couch in her room… Maggie’s faith and witness was heard clearly by all in attendance at her funeral. There was a hush in that room. Following the funeral service there was a time of refreshments and her son and daughter-in-law came up to me and thanked me for sharing "mom's story" with all those there, celebrating Maggie's life. You see, they were concerned about "mom's" salvation and were comforted to know that she had a personal relationship with Jesus and that she was under someone's ministry, mine.

It is our responsibility to feed His sheep no matter what pasture they may be grazing in. But on this day, I was grazing in Maggie's pasture as she fed me spiritually that day.

Continuing to be His "Joyful Evangelist."
Sharon L. Gulley
USA East

A fellow former officer needs our prayers...

This is the first time a scheduled article has been superceded. Yet, I believe all visitors will agree that it's in the spirit of this fellowship. And, it's very much in the thread of all that's been written to date.

One in our fellowship is struggling through a very difficult family issue, Saying that "we know your pain" will not make it disappear, and saying "Things will get better" or "You'll get past this" is trite and even uncaring and dismissive. But what we do know is that hurt will not stay with you forever. Most of us have been through similar if not the exact same issues.

Is there any lesson learned in your pain? Yes, at least two; your love for that family member is deeper than you ever realized before, and, you are now able to realize the suffering of others as perhaps never before. You are a different person because of this day and your current sense of hopelessness. But know this, there are a great many who share in what you are going through, even without knowing the details. And like you, when days are bright, but perhaps especially when clouds roll in, we come together in that singularly unique fellowship as the Father's children.

There is a wonderful Swedish children's song entitled; Children of the Heavenly Father:

Children of the heav’nly Father
Safely in His bosom gather;
Nestling bird nor star in Heaven
Such a refuge e’er was given.

God His own doth tend and nourish;
In His holy courts they flourish;
From all evil things He spares them;
In His mighty arms He bears them.

Though He giveth or He taketh,
God His children ne’er forsaketh;
His the loving purpose solely
To preserve them pure and holy.

Lo, their very hairs He numbers,
And no daily care encumbers
Them that share His ev’ry blessing
And His help in woes distressing.

Praise the Lord in joyful numbers:
Your Protector never slumbers.
At the will of your Defender
Ev’ry foeman must surrender.

The song is used in almost every SA dedication of children in The SA in Sweden, including my own (though I don't remember being there...) And in that same sacred ceremony soldiers of the corps swore a promise to lift the child up in prayer. I'm certain that was the case with yours as well.

I have often wondered what the words in the scripture mean that say, "when we forget to pray, Jesus lifts us to the Father". Perhaps I now understand... our tears blind us when we are in pain, and only He can see through them and know our heart... our pleading pain to the Father -

Pain is a human factor that comes to all. Soulful pain comes to those who know what true love means, seeking and connecting with the Father. Take heart - He hears your cry and His son's plea...

"So where is God when it hurts? We know where God is because he came to earth and showed us his face. You need only follow Jesus around and note how he responded... with compassion—which simply means "to suffer with"—and with comfort and healing." (Phillip Yancey)

Dear friend, take these simple words from The SA song book; you've sung them believing, as we all have;

I believe God answers prayer,
I believe God answers prayer,
I believe God answers prayer,
He's answered mine before'

Many blessings from all in this fellowship and we pray, in Jesus' name.

Feed My Sheep (2)

My Session Flag...‘Messenger of Hope’


I have a few hours spare before visiting Jack’s wife and family and then on to conduct yet another funeral; three in the space of one week...

I want to share about my work and home situation.

One reader shared that they were jealous that I have a ministry again. I can understand their envy as that is how I felt for many years, useless, not worthy, a misfit and yes, even jealous of those fulfilling the calling I wasn’t allowed to have. Single-spouse Officers were not thought of then, and even if they had been, how would I have coped with four children under the age of 10!! That wasn’t the point, but it was a massive loss in my life, having to resign as an officer.

Today is very different in that I am fulfilling my calling, but not with The Salvation Army. I work as Spiritual Care Team Leader at the local hospice, and I am there for people regardless of their faith and belief. This working environment is a challenge in itself in that I am a non-practising ordained minister, and I feel I am often viewed by the local clergy with scepticism. They cannot understand how I can work in a multi-faith environment. All I can say is that the last 2 ½ years have seen a remarkable development in my faith and spirituality and it’s amazing how God has sustained me recently, as I go through my second marriage break-up.

There’s a beautiful song and the words say this;

When I think I’m going under,
part the waters Lord,
When I feel the waves around me;
part the sea.
When I cry for help,
Oh hear me Lord,
and put out your hand.
Touch my life,
still the raging storm in me.

Those words have supported and helped me through the past 6 months, when I hit rock bottom and cried ‘Why Lord’?!

I’ve often thought what possible good can come out of all of this, and just two weeks ago my eldest Son became a Christian. You can imagine how overjoyed I was and even more so when it was my daughter who led him to Christ.

As this goes to print, we are all taking a journey back! My two eldest children were 5 and 2 when we entered the Training College, and this weekend we have gone back to visit friends and maybe I’ll take them for a walk down “memory lane”. My two youngest have never been to Denmark Hill, although they were conceived there and so this will be a new experience for them.I will go into the assembly hall and ‘touch’ my sessional flag; ‘Messenger of Hope’, and know that I am continuing to fulfill what I was called to do.

Jeremiah 29:11 ‘I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord’. Yes, I know what He wants me to do in the future and it will mean a change for me.

‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you’. This is biggy for me; I have to trust God completely.

‘Plans to bring a hope and a future’. Yes, I know that’s what I have now in my current role in the Hospice, but I know God has something else planned for my life, and when that plan is revealed fully I have to say YES and step forward and say, “Lord here am I, send me”!

Blessings !

Tracey Oliver
Former Officer, UK
(part two)

Feed My Sheep (Part One)

"Follow me, and I will make you a fisher of men." Jesus' very last words to Peter, again down at the waters of the Sea of Galilee, and after His resurrection were, "Feed my sheep, Follow me."

I have just returned home from feeding His sheep and what a journey we have made together, the family and I, these last few months. It’s incredible the determination some people have when faced with a terminal illness. As they journey through, it’s a painful process as each person has to come to terms with their own loss of life and leaving behind all that matters dearly to them, but most especially, family. This process is an essential part of the journey that they must travel; not an easy one and not one that everyone is willing to take. One has to understand that some people choose to take some things with them to the grave!!!

The family who I am journeying with are amazing! Jack (name changed) has a brain tumour and is the most determined person I have ever come across. This determination has been extended to his lovely wife and three children who together form a close knit family unit.

Our journey together has consisted of deep spiritual moments and Jack has been able to express and talk about his faith, belief and what gives value and meaning to his life. Never once has Jack been angry about his diagnosis/prognosis, rather the frustration has been about not being able to walk and to sit; instead having to watch his body deteriorate before his very eyes and not be able to do anything about it. Jack was a very active man. He loved the outdoor life and sailing was his passion, and he has daily grieved the loss of this very big part of his life.

Last evening I received a call from one of the Nurses caring for Jack, saying he was asking to see me. The nurse explained briefly that he had asked to speak with the medical Consultant and had made a very big decision concerning his medication. Part of his medication was controlling the pain and symptoms of his tumour that were keeping him alive. Jack made a brave decision once he had spoken in some depth with the Consultant. He requested that they halt the medication that was sustaining his life. Jack’s emotional, heartfelt words to me on my arrival at his bedside were, ‘this is not quality of life, I want things now to take their natural cause’. Jack was nearing the end; he had accepted that there was nothing more that could be done for him and he was now ready to enter the final stage of his journey.

Today, was another day of journeying with Jane, (name changed) Jack’s wife. I sat with her as the Consultant told her what to expect in the next couple of days; Jack becoming more sleepy, a possibility of increased seizures and headaches as the medication was discontinued. Jane, was another incredibly brave soul! My heart again went out to this strong, brave woman, who was always hopeful for a miracle, but knew deep within her heart it was not to be. I then was asked again by Jack to remain as the Consultant spoke with them together about the medication and if they had any questions or needed clarification. Jane simply said ‘I’ll be strong for you Jack, very strong’, as the tears flowed. For me I had to fight back the tears and my own emotion as I needed to be strong for them both.

As I left them to talk further, privately, I knew I had to withdraw and find a quiet spot to release the emotion and pain I felt. The intensity of this situation required me to draw from my Shepherd the nourishment I needed to sustain my sheep, the flock that God has called me to serve.
_______________________________________________

Jack passed away peacefully on Sunday morning, with his family around him. His wife is comforted by the fact he is now free from his suffering and how the sunshine lit the room when his journey finally came to an end. I have the privilege of leading Jack's funeral at his request next Tuesday, please remember this family in your prayers.

I praise God for my ministry and thank him for giving me the grace and skills required to do His will.

Perhaps there's a former officer out there who'se own health is such that you aren't able to Shepherd as you'd like. Please consider sharing my shepherd duties with me. There are those certain times when knowing I have your prayers sustaining me is just the comfort and strength I need.

Blessings,
Tracey Oliver
UK Territory
(Part One)

A Salvationist enters heaven...

"Will there be any stars in that crown I receive when I leave my earthly shroud behind?" (Swedish SA Songbook) Painting by Swedish artist Bengt Engman. The salvationist asks that he be allowed to wear his guernsey as his robes of white are presented. The original painting hangs in the corps hall in Vansbro, Sweden, the home town of the artist.

A former officer Friend...

I was an officer for eleven years (Messenger of the Faith)

My earliest memory is of climbing up a very steep staircase (I've been back since and it is not steep at all) in the Salvation Army Hall in Sacriston, Co. Durham. I must have been three or four years old at the time. I also remember moving to Maltby in Yorkshire when I was seven and soon after becoming a Junior Soldier, a Singing Company (Junior Choir) member and learning a string of different brass instruments in the Young People's Band. In my teens I left (The SA) for a while, but by sixteen I was a Senior Soldier and bandsman and by the age of eighteen, or a least a few months after my eighteenth birthday, I was a Cadet training to be a Salvation Army Officer in the International Training College in London. It was there that I met my wife to be, who was also training as a Salvation Army Officer. In 1971 we married and continued at a number of appointments together. There was a growing dissatisfaction with what we were doing and, to cut a long story short, by 1977 I had resigned and become a local authority social worker.

I continued as a soldier (member) of the Salvation Army, a youth group leader, bandsman etc. But I found a growing questioning of, not only the practices, but the basic doctrines of the Army. This came to a head when the Bishop of Durham, David Jenkins, hit the headlines with his less than conventional views on the authority of the Bible. I began to realise that there was much of the Army Doctrines that I was unhappy about, including the bigotry shown against David Jenkins, not to mention that against homosexuality and other matters that some Salvationists classed as 'sinful'. I was ready to withdraw from the Army but did not feel that I could 'go nowhere'.

I remembered, whilst I was an officer, going with my family on holiday to my wife's relatives in the Lake District. I had accepted the invitation to visit my first meeting for worship at the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) and found that much of what I read about them made sense and, as they would say, 'spoke to my condition'. Now some years on, I started going to the Quakers meeting at Grimsby. Over a relatively short time I changed from a Salvationist who attended Quakers in the morning and the Army at night, to a Quaker who attended the Army at night, through joint membership of both the Salvation Army and Quakers, to finally making a full commitment to the religious Society of Friends.

There are a number of reasons why I felt at home with Friends; Quakers do not have a creed, they respect each individual, they have a peace 'testimony' and a non-condemning attitude to most other people's beliefs, whether they are the same as Quakers or not. In short, I found the opportunity to make my own spiritual journey and follow God as I believed that He wanted me to, rather than having to submit to a set of doctrines which I was not sure that believed in anymore, and were more than a bit dated in their language and ideas. Suffice to say that I am really at home with Quakers now and much more involved than I had been with the Salvation Army for years. The only fly in the ointment, there has to be one, is that the rest of my family are still active soldiers (members) of the Salvation Army. My wife is a Songster (senior choir member), a bandswoman and a Corps Secretary. One son is now an officer and the other attends Army meetings regularly. However, I believe I am exactly where I ought to be.

Melvyn Hamilton

Returning to the Source... 2008

There was a man who was a line painter for the highway department back in the days when the lines were painted by hand. He was entered into a three-day contest and the first day of the contest he painted five miles of highway. The next day he painted 500 feet and the last day he painted 27 feet.

When he was asked why his total output dropped so dramatically each day he replied, “It’s very simple. Every day I was further away from the pail of paint!” Simply put, every day he was moving farther and farther from the source.

I know I’m preaching to the “preacher” here, but the same thing can and does happen to us all. It’s easy to move away from the source of our “spiritual life and well being” and as a consequence become less and less effective in living the Call; "less output". As was shared by a former officer in the UK in last week's blog; ˆTotal dependency is what we need in order to cultivate a deeper relationship with Him. I think for me this has to be my number one resolution for 2008. I need to depend, not just say it, but do it, act on it, trust Him!"

In last Sunday’s Holiness Meeting our CO, Captain Rick Starkey shared in his message statistics published in 1967. Forecasters suggested that by the year 2000 the average workweek would consist of 22 hours and we would enjoy 27 weeks of annual vacation. The predictions were based on how computers would revolutionize our lives. Revolutionize they did! But not in the manner suggested by those forecasters. Our workweek is still a full forty hours or more. As for the computers? They have added to our downtime “work” because, if you are like me, the first thing we do after pouring a cup of coffee in the morning is to check the e-mail inbox, and the last thing at night is to send off a greeting by e-mail, and perhaps update our own tomorrow’s to-do list!

Paul tells us in Ephesians 5:15 – “Be very careful then, how you live ( how you spend your time), not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…”

As we begin a new year the challenge I want to issue to you and myself is this; Create space in your busy schedule where God can get at you, before you get at God. As I contemplate the days and months ahead, and all those leisure hours I won’t have, those predicted by the 1967 forecasters, I need to return to the Source each day, “the Source of reviving strength”. Jesus warned us that the devil steals our time. And even in the busyness of “doing good” we can lose sight of the fact that our Source has been absent and perhaps left to the side. Doing good does not translate as “making the most of every opportunity…”

It’s said that if you examine a person’s “daily planner” and check (cheque) book, they will reveal to you all you ever need to know about a person. In my “daily planner” for 2008 I have listed “create space for God” as the first priority in the morning, and as the very last at night, for each and every day. And as reminder of that daily commitment to “create space”, I have entered into a cyberspace spiritual relationship with a prayer partner, a fellow former officer. Each morning and evening a meditation and prayer is exchanged via e-mail. While the computer has been a bane in many ways, (porno-gambling, etc) it provides countless opportunities to return to and share the Source with others by “making the most of every opportunity.”

Here at the cross in this sacred hour,
Here at the source of reviving power,
Helpless indeed, I come with my need,
Lord for thy service, fit me I plead.
Bramwell Coles

Why not take time and share a brief comment with the readers of this blog as to the websites or blogs that bring you back to the Source? A favorite of mine is; http://tcspeak.blogspot.com . You may also findl http://www.thehighcalling.org inspirational.

Many blessings this and every day in 2008 !

Sven Ljungholm
Middletown Corps, Ct. USA East

Christmas Memories – “One of the Boys"

The days were long at the Hartford Holiday Store, where The Salvation Army collected and distributed food and toys donated through a local radio station and United Technologies Corp.

I was to be on duty for two weeks, Monday through Saturday, from 6:45 a.m. until 7:30 p.m. With little or no donations coming in, the days dragged by, and I began to think that this was a waste of my ‘valuable time.’ Then, one day, everything changed.

It was midmorning when two gentlemen walked in. They were disheveled, filthy, and reeking of alcohol. When I asked if I could help them, they replied, “No, just looking.” Funny, I was never afraid of them. I asked if they might like some coffee and something to eat. They took no time in responding, “Yes.” But to my surprise, they rejected the fresh bagels we had on hand for the volunteers. I soon learned why - they had no teeth and could not manage such chewy bread. George and Leo quickly learned that I was a captain in The Salvation Army, and I learned that they were both homeless and sleeping at the shelter. During the day, they walked the streets.

Word was soon out on those streets that a captain from The Salvation Army was giving out coffee and food to “the boys.” Most who stopped by – some several times a day – had been drinking and needed a warm place to hang out. Suddenly, I knew why I was at the holiday store. My mission was not to collect toys, money and food, but to listen, to be a friend, to let these men know that God loved them, no matter what state they were in.

From the beginning, I sensed something was different about George. We often talked about his life and how he had reached this low point. Even when he was so drunk that he couldn’t walk straight, I could see in his eyes that he was crying out for help.

One night, George agreed to go into detox the next morning. That thrilled me…until he didn’t show up. I waited and waited…no George. I even went out and walked the streets – I now knew where the boys hung out. But there was no sign of George, and no one would tell me where he was.

Later that afternoon, a very drunk, very embarrassed George finally showed up. I acted as if nothing were wrong and offered him coffee. He kept spilling it; when he fell asleep with the cup in his hand, I could see that he needed a place to sleep this off. So I gathered some donated coats, placed them on the floor behind a counter, and led George to his makeshift bed. He woke up a couple of hours later and asked if I could get him into a detox program. I found him a placement at a center called Blue Hills, called a taxi for him, and paid the driver to take him there.

That night, George called me at home three times. On the final call, at 11:00 p.m., he asked if I could bring him some cigarettes. I pulled on my sweats, went to a convenience store, and I bought three packs of Newports. I knew enough about addictions to realize that George could not kick two habits at once.) I drove to Blue Hills and walked into the detox area. The guard said, “You must be the captain.” How he knew from my lounging clothes I don’t know.

I can still see George shuffling down the hall toward me. With tears in his eyes he gave me a big hug, and I assured him he was going to beat this thing if he put his trust in God.

That was December 22, 1997. George’s first day of sobriety, the next day, was my 41st birthday. In 1999, I visited George on “our day.” As I looked around his room, I said, “George, whose stuff is this?” “Mine,” he said. I said, “Do you realize that two years ago, you brought me your life’s possessions in a small brown bag?” We both laughed.

He has come a long way, and so have I. George spent several months at the Springfield, MA Adult Rehabilitation Center, run by The Salvation Army. He became resident manager there; he is in a similar position now with the Honor Court, a program run by the Sherriff’s Department in Springfield.

As for me, I learned an important lesson about my part in Kingdom building. What happened at the holiday store wasn’t about my being “the captain,” but about my openness to God’s leading. Those two weeks at the holiday store changed my life forever. I have learned that my ministry is complete when I totally surrender to God’s will, whatever that is.

Lauren Garell
Manchester Citadel Corps
USA East

Part three
I believe in the mission of The Salvation Army. If you and I are to have daily victory over Satan, we too, like Peter and John in Acts 4, must speak boldly for Jesus. And we must do this out of a deep sense of urgency because of the terrible consequence of sin.

We must speak because the of the joy of our own salvation. We must speak because the salvation of others depends upon it. Because when we truly belong to God, and when we diligently strive to live out the gospel imperative we become aware of that divine command that becomes the very focus of our compulsion...Jesus said, "Ye shall be witnesses unto me."

During this holiday season I've become keenly aware that there are people everywhere without Christ. Lost, broken, confused people who need the touch of Christ. Think of it...they live in our neighborhoods, they live around the corps building, they come to the Army doors for assistance every day, they even participate in Army programs. God sends people to you and me in abundance, and He asks that we feel a sense of urgency, an inner compulsion and conviction about sharing the good news of the gospel that can set the sinner free.

Not only must we have that compulsion to speak for Jesus..but if we're going to have victory in our lives, we've got to show others the evidence of the redeemed life. Peter and John had preached that Jesus who had been crucified had also been raised from the dead, that He was in fact the living God through whom there was forgiveness of sin and eternal life. During my SFOT days I decided that if I'm going to live a victorious life I must give evidence...the evidence of being made whole, of being Christlike, of being a new creature in Christ Jesus. I wanted to be the kind of officer who gave evidence that the power of God can and does transform. That the power of God can keep the vilest and the worst, and that the power of God can keep me from sin and keep me from sinning every day giving me victory.

I mentioned in my previous blog..."although no longer an officer, the words printed on my covenant card still rings true for my life after officership...to win souls and to make soul-winning the first priority in my life," (but somehow/someway all that "other stuff" got in the way). Some of the "other stuff" included petty,mean-spiritied and difficult colleagues who were more of a problem than a blessing. But as a child of God (post officership) I continue to covenant the great commission as outlined in Matthew 25 -giving evidence of God's redeeming power while engaged in the business of bringing men and women to Christ.

Further, in order to live victoriously I must be filled with the power of the Holy Spirit. God wants His people to be Holy, to be pure, to be filled with his Holy Spirit in order that we be empowered for Christ-like living. It will make all the difference for me to daily invite God's Spirit to take my will, to take my mind, to take my heart and to form them into His likeness.

With thy Spirit fill me,
With thy Spirit fill me,
Make me holy thine I pray,
With thy spirit fill me.

Andre Burton
Times Square Corps
New York