Friday, May 20, 2016

Parents of a Transgender Daughter PART TWO -Conclusion


Part Two - Conclusion

We learned:
‪1. We learned that acceptance was a harder road…but we were up for the challenge. We know we “can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.”

‪2. We learned we could find peace in a new normal.

‪3. We learned perfect families don’t exist. “You have the perfect family…a boy and a girl…and the boy is older,” someone once said. In their patriarchal world, this may be a good thing…but it hardly matters. Our family is what it is…and we love each other.

‪4. We learned that our families of origin are more gracious that we thought they might be. After she came out to the rest of the extended family, we saw them offer continued love and grace to our child. We should have known that would be the case…for they have shown grace to us throughout our lives.

‪5. We learned we will never fully understand what our daughter is going through. We are cis-gendered. Our brains match our bodies. Hers does not. But we learned we could have empathy.

‪6. We learned that all people deserve love and respect, and all people deserve to be at “God’s table” …and not under it. We should never equate people with “dogs.” Matthew 15:27. Jesus welcomes all to His table…and offers a feast of food, friendship, and faith to each one.

‪7. We learned that gender identity and expression is a painful experience for a person who is transgender. It isn’t something that they choose to be hip or cool. And we need not make their life more painful. In fact, the Christian would make their path smoother and their load lighter by living out the love found in 1 Corinthians 13 and taught in the Sermon on the Mount. We choose to practice this basic Christian ideal.

‪8. We learned personality is not gender-related. She is the same as he was. She is just as creative, messy, and funny as he ever was. She is computer-savvy and still a passionate baseball fan—just like he was.

‪9. We learned that the brain is still the great mystery of the human body. A mass of grey, gelatinous tissue; it controls the whole of the body. It is the holy of holy of the human, if you will. And all aspects of brain function, chemistry, and its final output in thought and feeling is still a great mystery.



‪10. We learned to interpret the traditional homosexual Bible passages through the interpretive lens of the ministry of the grace of Jesus. The same Jesus who loved tax collectors, women, lepers, and the foreigner…would also love the LGBT community today. By following Jesus’ example in this, we realize that we will likely be criticized the same way He was. “Why do you eat with publicans and sinners?” To that question, we will give Jesus’ answer.

SDA Elder O. Kris and Mrs. Debbie Widmer

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