Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Have you not noticed the change? Reconciliation in the works...

"My dearest girl, the day you notice that I'm getting old, I beg you to be patient, but above all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I repeat the same thing a thousand times, do not interrupt me by saying," you said the same thing a minute ago "...... just listen. and remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night, until you fell asleep. The day you see that I'm getting old, I ask you to be patient but above all, try to understand what I go through.

Do not get mad at me when I do not want to take my bath, and please, don’t embarrass me. Do you remember when you were little and I had to run and chase and catch up with you just to get you into the shower?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me time to learn and please, please do not look at me that way ...

Remember my dearest, how, when you were small, I patiently taught you many things every day, like dressing yourself, comb your hair and deal with life's countless questions and issues ... The day you see that I'm getting old, I ask you to be patient but above all, try to understand what I go through.

 If I temporarily lose track of what we're talking about, give me time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be anxious, impatient and frustrated. You should know that for me what’s most important for me is to simply be with you.

And when my old tired legs don’t allow me to move as fast as before, give me your hand in the same way as I offered my hand to you when you walked for the very first time.

And when that day comes, do not be sad ... just be with me, and be patient with me, when I travel on that final journey towards the end of my life. I treasure every hour, all the time we have shared together, where joy and love has always been the most important thing for me.

With a big smile and the immense love I always had for you, let me just say, I love you ... my beloved daughter.”

Tove Nordenberg
Former Officer
Sweden and Latvia Territory

Married to Mattias Nordenberg
Training College Principal

(translated; Sven Ljungholm)


Deborah said...

I was fortunate to be able to have my mom come and live with this past year. The time was precious for both of us. Even though the final three months (PTG October 34 2012) were challenging in all aspects it was probably the best time we ever shared because share we did. Memories, time, stories, love, meals, everything. Thank you for sharing this story.

Anonymous said...

An excellent article Elizabeth. I once worked in a 'care of the elderly' hospital and am so aware of the situation you highlight. We need to try and see through the confusion to the person behind.


Anonymous said...

This is certainly a timely article for me Tove and I'm a male. My elderly mother suffers from dementia and I've experienced these same changes you write about to the nth degree in what is now over a decade.

I also just turned 62 and the part about new technology applies directly to me too. Sometimes I feel like I'm fixated in a technological time warp of about 10to 15 years ago and have no idea what the kids are talking about anymore when it comes to their new gadgets! I definitely need to go take a comprehensive refresher course on everything but I then worry that if by the time the class finishes, what we learned won't be obsolete and I will have just wasted a lot of money! lol!


I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's PtG in October. Please accept my condolences. You'll never regret the time you spent with her, her last year though and you'll always have the hope (and promise) of seeing her again in eternity. This tiny life is not all there is. God Bless You Deb and many blessings in 2013.

Daryl Lach
USA Central

"You Must Go Home By the Way of the Cross, To Stand With Jesus In the Morning!"

Anonymous said...

TY, Tove, for sharing this article. I've had senior friends and family with dementia, as well as a 92 yr. old neighbour. Often, the familiy of these dear folks are embarrassed by the repetition of the same details or stories. I've had so many of them apologize to me. I let them know that it doesn't matter how many times they repeat what they are saying (they wouldn't be doing it if they knew that they had just said the same thing a few seconds or min. earlier). I just pray & hope that, when I'm older, others will be patient w/me, too. :) Many blessings. :)

Former SA Officer
Canada & Bermuda